Holding on Forever
by NJCD
Summary: It's Eli and Clare's 6th month anniversary and this is the story of them dealing with their relationship. Warning: This story is extremely OOC and full of fictional drama. Rated M for sexual content in later chapters.
1. Anniversary

**And they said our love would fade**  
**it gets stronger everyday**  
**And they say that beauty fades**  
**You're more beautiful than ever**  
**They said we'd drift away**  
**We're still standing here**  
**And it feels like every day's**  
**Our Anniversary**

**-Anniversary, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez **

* * *

**Clare's POV**

Eli and I had just finished dinner at Little Miss Stakes. We had been together for 6 months ever since he began to comfort me when my mom married Jake's dad, ruining Jake and I's relationship. When we left the restaurant, we drove to his house. He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. What's the rush? I asked.

I have something for you. He told me and sat on the bed, pulling me into his lap. He reached onto his shelf, and pulled down a purple velvet box, way too big for a ring. He held it out. I took it and slowly opened it. Inside was a beautiful necklace made of green jewels. In the middle was a heart shaped locket with a picture of her on one side, and a picture of Eli on the other. Engraved on the back was Forever and always, I'll keep you in my arms I smiled and turned around to kiss him. This is amazing. I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry. He carefully wrapped the necklace around my neck. I climbed off his lap and sat down next to him. I kissed him, and that turned into making out.

**Eli's POV**

Happy 6 month anniversary I said as I pulled away for a second. I leaned forward, continuing to kiss her. It was like our tongues were dancing. My left hand rest on her waist, my right hand on her cheek. I moved both hands to her waist and slowly up her shirt. I felt myself starting to undo her bra. She pulled away and grabs my arms. I should go she says as she stands up. Clare, wait. I'm sorry. I grabbed her hand and stoop up. When I was with Juliet, she would spend the- She cut me off in mid-sentence. I'll see you later. she said, and pulled out of my grip. I'll drive you. I said following her. She stopped and turned around Eli. I'm fine, it's not far away. I can walk. She told me sternly and marched out the door. I'm sorry. I said softly, but she was already gone. I ran upstairs and punched the wall before trying to fall asleep.

**Clare POV:**

Maybe I overreacted about the bra thing. He wasn't going to try anything. Or was he? He was thinking about Juliet! He still loves her. But I shouldn't have left. I should have let him drive me. Hey babe, you got plans? I heard a man asked. He stood up and walked toward me. Oh my god, I should have let Eli drive me! Leave me alone I warned the man. He ignored me and grabbed my arm. Get away from me! He shoved me against the wall. I yelled trying to pull away. His grip tightened and I started to cry. Suddenly a blonde hair boy stepped in front of me and pushed him. She said leave her alone. he growled. He glanced down at me, Are you okay? Yeah, thanks. I said, returning the stare. The boy looked about my age. We started walking. I'm Clare. I told him sheepishly. He looked at me Clare? Clare Edwards? Uh, yeah... I said Don't you remember me? From camp! 6 years ago. I took a better look at him when we were under the street light. Kyle! I said realizing who he was. Kyle and I had gone to camp when we we're 11. I leaned over and hugged him. He hugged back and we continued walking. How have you been? he asked. Fine. Thanks for saving me. He blushed and said It was nothing. I take a self-defense class at the community center. That's where you learned those moves. How could I ever repay you? I asked. Well, if you're not busy tomorrow, do you want to hang out? I'd love to." So, uh, why were you all by yourself? I took a breath and told him My boyfriend and I had a small fight at his house. So I was walking home. Ahh, good thing I was out too. I smiled and pulled a pen out of my purse. I took his hand and wrote my phone number on it. He smiled and waved goodbye. I noticed a darkened bruise on my arm as I fell asleep. When I woke up, Kyle had offered me a ride to school. I gladly accepted.

**Eli's POV:**

I woke up and shut off my alarm clock. 7:00. I groaned and grabbed the shelf, trying to pull myself up. I dropped back onto my bed when I felt a sharp pain in my hand. I saw my knuckles were bruised. I must've been mad last night. I managed to climb out of bed, and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a gray dead hand T-shirt and a black vest. I wonder if Clare is still mad at me. I grabbed an apple and jogged to Morty. Every morning, I drive Clare to school and walk her to class. I parked in front of her house and waited a few minutes. She should be out by now. I climbed out and knocked on the door. "Oh, hi Eli. Can I help you?" asked Mrs. Edwards. "I'm here to get Clare". "She left 10 minutes ago, she said she had a ride with a freind. Didn't she tell you?" she asked confused.

"Must've slipped her mind." I said bitterly as I went back to Morty. I drove to school, but stayed in my car. Why is she this mad? "It was an accident!" I yelled. A few kids turned and stared. I knew what they were thinking. Whats with the dude in the hearse? I saw Adam run up, "Dude, you okay?" he asked and stared at me through the window. "Where's Clare?" "Aren't you her personal driver?" He said mockingly. I pushed the door open and walked past Adam, trailing along the fence. Within a few seconds Adam was by my side "Bro, talk to me. What happened last night?". I ignored him and kept walking. He grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me against the fence. For a little guy, he was strong. "Did you hit her?". I looked at him, "What?". His grip loosened, "Your hand is bruised...". He said, letting his voice trail. "I hit the wall. I would never hurt Clare." I said through clenched teeth. "Sorry, just looking out for her." he tried to reassure. I walked away quickly and pushed the front doors open. I looked everywhere for Clare. I waited by her locker until the bell rang. I was too distracted in math. I saw her at lunch and ran up to her.

"You avoiding me?". "I'm just busy." She said, waving her cellphone in front of me. "Clare-" She raised her voice "We can talk later, okay? I'm on the phone." I stopped and stood in the middle of the hallway, feeling lost. When the bell rang, I went to English and sat there miserably. Everyone handed in their assignments, except me. I forgot mine at home. When the bell rang, Clare headed for the door, texting someone. I ran after her. "Eli? I need to see you" I stopped and turned to Ms. Dawes. I slumped my shoulder and hurried over. After quickly explaining the lack of my essay I ran and looked for Clare. She left already. I ran to my car and hurried to her house. I can beat her there. The she will be forced to talk to me. I was there and parked across the road, farther from her house. If she sees me, she may turn around and go to her Alli's.

I see her walking fast to her walkway. I leave the car unlocked and run to her. "Clare!". She turns looking startled. "We need to talk. Let's go for a drive.". She comes and I open the door for her. I drive to the abandoned church and park. "Last night I figured I messed up and you leaving was the punishment. When you walked to school, I thought you were overreacting. But now, I guess I did something pretty stupid and made it worse by bringing up-" I stopped realizing mentioning her name might make it worse. I waited for a response. "I overreacted, but when you mentioned Julia, I realized I can't give you what you are used to. I felt embarrassed about running off, but I can't believe you would try that. It's like you forgot who I am. You still love Juliet.".

I held her, and said "Don't compare yourself to her. I want you. You're all I need" I kissed her, but made sure to keep my hands where they belong. I sat up and started Morty. "Where are we going?" "Coffee at The Dot?" I asked. "Sure". When we arrived, I ordered 2 coffees. When I looked at Clare, she was looking down at the table looking distressed. "It's still bugging you.". I said looking at her. "Just thinking.". "2 coffees?" a blonde haired boy asks as he sets down the cups. I smile at him and take a sip. "Do you want to hang out? Maybe come over?" she asked "I would love to. Let's go now.". After I paid and tipped the blonde boy I drove to my house. I opened her door for her and we raced to the door and up the stairs. I picked her up and placed her on the bed. She was laughing, then stared up at me. She sat up and leaned in for a kiss. I put my hands on her back and sat down next to her. After a short make out session, she said she had to go. "I love you. Will you be walking to school tomorrow? Or do you want to travel via Eli Airlines? I could book you a flight." I offered with a smile. She laughed. "That would be great. First class?" she said teasingly. "Never less." I said and walked up to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you" I said once again. She smiled "I'll see you in the morning?". I nodded and she showed herself to the door.

She didn't say it. I said it, twice. She didn't bother! Stop, your overreacting. Why didn't she say it?! My phone rang and a text from my mom appeared

_Eli,_  
_we will be gone for a week. Went to a radio convention with your father._  
_Love Mom_

Good, I get some time to myself. I decided to see where Clare was going. I followed her and she met a blonde haired boy at the movie theater. She's cheating. That's why she won't say it! I went home, slammed the door and collapsed on the bed crying myself to sleep.

That weekend I stayed in my room and only left to use the bathroom. I felt sick. She doesn't feel the same! This is all my fault. My phone rang often, it was Clare, trying to talk to me. I didn't bother going to school on Monday and stayed in bed today. I realized I wasn't mad at Clare, but a myself, I messed up. Somehow, and ruined something great. I led her to cheat. After a few days of isolation from the outside world, I heard a knock on the door. I groaned, climbed out of bed and put on a shirt. I slowly opened the door. "Clare?". I checked my watch "What are you doing here? You should be in school.". " Where have you been?! I've been worried sick! Why haven't you been answering my calls or texts?". I didn't know what to say. I stared, jaw dropped. She was looking pissed, worried and relieved all at once. I felt my arm start to hurt and go numb. I tried to breathe, but there was a great pressure on my chest. I looked down and was surprised to see nothing on me. "Eli? What's wrong with you? Eli?!". I collapsed and lay at her feet. She bent down and shook me. I tried to speak, but couldn't. I saw Clare dial her phone, and then everything went black.

I woke up and saw a lady dressed in white. She had beautiful hair and had the voice of an angel. I died. I'm in heaven. She continued to talk. I looked up "What?". "You had a heart attack due to dehydration and shock.". I stared "I'm not dead?". She laughed "No, no. You'll be fine. We contacted your parents. They can't make it, so you can check yourself out after we run some test and make sure you're okay.". I dropped my head onto the pillow and sighed. I hadn't realized how many wires were attached to me. I saw Clare walk in. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. "Eli?". I opened them slowly and looked up. "Why didn't you come to school?". "Why did you come here?, I asked bitterly. "To see if you're alright! Where have you been?" she cried. "Wouldn't you rather see another movie with Blondie?". "What are you talking about?". "I saw you on Thursday night!". I yelled. One of the machines made a loud beep, showing my heart rate spiked up. " Eli-". She started. Tears began to form in her eyes. I didn't let her talk, "I don't want to hear it." I spoke softly, more calmed. She stood up and left crying.

The next day, I was allowed to leave. I took the bus home and was surprised to see Clare waiting on my bed. I stared speechless. "Can we talk?" she pleaded. "You cheated!" I screamed so loud she pulled herself to the corner of the bed. I was about to go on, but I saw a tear in her eye. She looked terrified. I've never seen her like this. I walked up and placed my arm around her. "Forget it." I didn't want to risk losing her. I was still raged, but tried to stay calm. She relaxed but still cried. I held her tighter and pulled her into my lap. She leaned her head back and stared at me. I kissed her. We lay down and she rested close. I realized she was falling asleep in my arms. When she didn't stop weeping, I sat up and pulled her closer. I held her cheeks and wiped her tears away. She looked into my eyes and hugged me, holding on tight. "It was a huge mistake." she choked out. I pulled out of the hug and stared in her. Trying to read her mind, to see what she had thought, or what I had done to make her cheat. I became lost while staring. I was replaying every moment I could remember from the past few weeks. I must've been staring with an angry look, because she began sobbing again. She stood up and sat at my desk with her head in her arms. I didn't move. I couldn't. I didn't know what to do or say. I extended my legs from the crossed position and lay down. I closed my eyes and tried not to yell. I wanted to scream, ask her what her problem was and that she didn't deserve me. I wanted to tell her to go make live to Blondie. I wanted to hit her.

I had so much anger in me, quickly turning into rage. I couldn't stand it. I punched the wall harder than ever. Clare looked up shocked, but mostly scared. She was witnessing my bad side. I picked up my stereo from the shelf and slammed it on the floor. It broke instantly, and pieces went everywhere. I was still filled with rage. I hated everything right now. "Eli-" I cut her off, "No, you shut up! I don't want to hear it." I yelled, louder than before. I tried to tell myself to calm down, but found myself walking toward Clare. She stood up and backed into the wall, her eyes filled with tears. I slapped her. The noise seemed to echo threw my room. She covered her face with her arms, and bent down, hiding. I turned around and collapsed onto my knees, and pushed my face into my pillow and cried. Why would I ever consider hurting Clare? I just told Adam I would never. Now look at me! What would Adam say? He wouldn't say anything, I thought. He would grab Clare and get her away from me. I'm a monster.

I started to wonder if she was still in the room. The door was open, so she could've ran off, to safety. I hope she's still here, I need to apologize. I was afraid to look. What if she would get scared? What if she's gone? What if she hates me? I stood up slowly, and turned to see Clare still in the floor, but this time, with her knees against her chest, arms around her knees and head buried in her legs. I gazed at her. How could I hurt someone so amazing? I backed into the wall and slid down, sitting next to her. I started to put my arm around her, expecting her to push my away. When she didn't, I tried to get her to look at me. "Clare, please look at me." I begged. "What? So that you can hit me again?" she replied without looking up. "I lost control. I have a right to be mad!" I said, raising my voice. "And, apparently you have a right to hit me?" she asked coldly. "What? No! I told you, I lost control!" I said slowly. "Eli, You really scared me." she said, finally looking up. I reached forward, and held her cheek in my hand. "I did that?" I gasped at the bruise beginning to form on her face. I started crying. This time, it was I who rest my head in their lap. "Please Clare, you have to forgive me" I begged, taking her hands. She pulled away and stood up, "I-I don't know."

My eyes didn't leave her for one second, until she finally left. I cried even more when she was out if my room. I heard her walk down the stairs, then I realized something. What if she tells her parents or Alli? She's walking all the way home, what if someone sees her? I stood up and ran down the stairs, jumping in front of her.  
I struggled to speak. "Y-You can't leave. Not like that. Please stay here.". "Eli, I just want-" I cut her off, "Please don't leave me." I begged looking into her eyes. "It's getting late. I have a curfew.". "But there's no school tomorrow!" I reminded. She tried to push me out of the way. "I can't." she said moving past me. I grabbed her arm and pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it out to her "Tell you mom your sleeping over at Alli's." I begged with pleading eyes. She took the phone, pushed past me and I heard the door open. I started to cry, and I dropped to my knees. I was losing her, and I can't do anything to stop it. "Mom, can I sleep I over at Alli's?" I looked up, and couldn't believe it. There was a sigh, and the door opened. "No mom, I'm fine. No I'm walking." she glanced at me. "I saw him. He's fine but fell asleep.". She explained. I realize she was lying about me. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation but I saw Clare walk back up the stairs and into the living room. I stood and followed her , giving her a massive hug, that she pushed away from. "I'm glad you're staying." I whispered. I couldn't stop staring at her bruise. I cried. "Does it still hurt?" I asked. "Only a little." she replied. I held her waist and pulled her closer "I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I lost control. Please forgive me.". I waited for a response.

"Eli, what I saw today, really scared me. You've never gone off the deep end, and you have to promise me to control yourself." I started to talk, but my phone rang before I could. I picked it up, and answered. It was my mom "Honey, our flight got delayed. Will you be okay for a while longer? . I ll be fine. I'm busy now, can we talk later?". I didn't wait for a response; I just hung up and looked back at Clare. "I will never hurt you again." I promised. I took her hand and led her over to my room. I picked her up so she wouldn't step on the broken plastic from the radio. I put her on my bed and lay down next to her. "Do you need to borrow some clothes to sleep in?" I asked. She nodded and I handed her some gym clothes. Pretty soon she came back from the bathroom. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I can't believe I hit you." I said and began to cry again. She didn't answer. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything? I asked, with a hint of panic in my voice. "No thanks." she said. "You wanna just sleep?" I asked. She nodded and sat up. I watched as she headed for the door. "Where are you going?" I asked. "To sleep on the couch" she said. "No, stay here." I stood up and put my arm around her. I walked her back to my bed. "Are you sure?" she asked. "We're just sleeping" I said with a chuckle. "I've never been at your house this late" she commented.  
I watched again as she turned away. I sat up, and said "Do you want to talk?"  
"Maybe in the morning." she answered with annoyance dripping off every word. I sighed and lay back down. I fell asleep fast still feeling terrible about what happened earlier.

When I woke up, Clare wasn't next to me. I looked up and saw her changing. She didn't see me staring at her nearly naked body, because she was facing the other way, but her body was facing me. I felt myself get hard. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my pillow. I started thinking what I would've seen if I kept watching. No, I though, I m hard. "Oh god" I said. I mentally groaned. Clare walked over and placed her hand on my back. I let out a high pitched moan when she did. I was already turned on, so her touch didn't help. I swear the sexual tension in the room was so thin, you could cut it with a knife. Why did she have to touch me? "Eli, are you okay?" she asked with concern. I lifted my head up "I'm fine." I said as if the air was knocked out of me. "Are you going to get up?" she asked.

"I will." I struggled to say, my voice cracking. "Eli, what's wrong?" she said slowly. I must've been really off my guard because she turned me over. I whipped my hands and covered it up, but she had seen already. She pulled her hand away and turned around. At least I wasn't naked. Then she would've been turned on, I joked to myself. "I, uh, you were-" I couldn't find the words. I'm going to die of embarrassment. I groaned. "Well, I'll be in the living room..." she said slowly as she headed for the door. Go down already! I couldn't stop thinking about her chest. So creamy... Stop thinking about it! After around 10 minutes it relaxed and I climbed out of bed. I closed the door and changed. I shoved my pants and boxers deep into the hamper. I opened the door but walked back and sat on my bed. Oh, God. I m such an idiot! I reached under and pulled out one of the little bottles of whiskey. I reached and chugged another one. I bought a bunch of them with my fake I.D. I chugged the whole bottle and forced myself up and went into the kitchen. I got a soda for Clare. I sat on the couch and handed her it. She opened it and asked "So, uh, what did you dream about?".

I looked up "I didn't dream about anything." my voice slurred slightly. "Well, what made you, uh, you know?" I sighed, "Do I have to tell you?", She stared and said "I have a right to know, don't I?". I groaned, "I saw something.". "What do you mean?" she said nervously. "Do I have to?" I whined. She stood and stared. "What did you see?" she asked sternly. "Well, I saw..." I stood and jumped to the other side of the couch. She ran after me, but I stayed on the opposite side of the couch. "You can't catch me!" I yelled and ran into my room. She chased after me and followed me to the bed, but stopped when she saw the empty bottles. "Are you drunk?" she demanded. "Not yet. I'm getting there though." I said smiling. She starred at me. "What? It's 2 little bottles!" I argued. She sat down. "Whoa! When did you get here?!" I asked and laughed. The room started spinning, so I grabbed Clare for balance. "It's like a roller coaster!". "Eli, stop it!" she yelled. "Where are they?" she looked in some of my drawers and then found the bottles under my bed. "You want some?" I asked with a smile. "What happened to you?! You've turned into the a drunk, abusive boyfriend!" she cried. "Hey! I told you it was an accident!" I yelled. She grabbed her phone and dialed a number. I starred stand she began to cry. "Don't cry." I begged sounding more drunk then before. "Jake, can you come get me? I'm at Eli's. Thanks."  
I started to yell, "No! He's your ex!"

"You're drunk. I don't think you have a say in this." She said and walked toward the door. A car honked outside and she walked down the stairs. I stood and ran after her. She opened to door and Jake stood there. "Let's go." she said when she saw me coming. "No! She s my girlfriend!" I yelled and grabbed her arm. "Eli, let me go!" she said pulling away. Jake stepped in front of her and shoved me back. "Go to the truck." he said to Clare. He started after her. "Why are you leaving with him? I would've driven you!". "You're drunk, Eli!" she yelled. "So, you're leaving with him?! You gonna have a threesome with him and Blondie?!" I yelled. She climbed into his truck and yelled "Go to hell!". I slammed the door and ran up the stairs.

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**Been working on this for a while. Please review, it would mean a lot.**

** -NJCD**


	2. Zombie Prostitute

**I grabbed her left breast, and I'm pretty sure I tore it**  
**I said "go down", but she didn't have the stomach for it**  
**Buck teeth fell out, and her tongue fell out to boot,**  
**But all in all, she was a rotten kinda cute.**  
**While I was tense, it was plain to see**  
**A sort of rigor mortis was comin' over me**  
**I didn't want to see it, but I just had to believe it**  
**I had a stiffy for the stiff in front a me.**

**-Zombie Prostitute, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez **

* * *

**Clare's POV:**

"What happened to your cheek?" he asked turning my head toward him. "We got in a fight" I said softly. "He hit you?!" Jake nearly shouted. "It was an accident." I explained. He pulled over, "How do you accidental hit someone?". "He was mad." I explained, beginning to cry. "Was he drunk?" Jake asked softly. "No, it was last night. I didn't even know he drank." "You spent the night? After he hit you?". "He apologized and we just slept, nothing more." I explained. "And now he's drunk." Jake stated plainly. "Yeah, he has a lot of whiskey under his bed." I said, choking back tears. "You should dump him." He said bitterly. "I-I can't. He deserves a second chance." I stuttered. "Well, you need a break from him." Jake muttered. "I'm not leaving him." I said sternly.

We pulled up at the house, "Wait here." Jake called, running inside. After 15 minutes, he came out with a cooler and his gym bag overflowing with both our clothes. "What's going on?" I ask, as he climbs into the truck. "You need sometime away from Dr. Doom. We're going to the cabin. I already got the O.K from dad and Helen." He explained with a smirk. "How long are we staying? You packed half my closet!". "A week." He said it as if it was no big deal. "A week? I can't spend a week alone with my-" Jake interrupted quickly, "Brother. With you brother. We're just siblings bonding at our family's cabin.". I smiled, "Yeah, okay 'bro'."  
We arrived at the cabin an hour later and Jake had gone to gather more firewood. I was sitting enjoying the small fire we made with sticks and twigs. I heard my phone ring, but hesitated to answer it when I saw the caller I.D: Eli Goldsworthy.

"Hello?"

"Clare? Where are you? I went to your house, and you weren't there." He said panicking.

"Jake thought it would be a good idea if me and you spent some time apart."

"You're listening to him? Are you with him? Where are you?!"

"We're at the cabin."

"W-with Jake? For how long? I'm coming to get you!"

"Eli! He's my brother. And I'll come home when I'm ready."

"Let me come and stay with you! I'll be better. No drinking at all!"

"Eli! You can't come. We need time away!"

"No, we need to be together. I'm coming."

"No! You're not allowed to come here. We're spending some time-".

Jake grabbed the phone from my hand, "She'll see you in a week." He said and hung up. I crossed my arms at him. "You get this back in a week." He said shaking my phone and stuffing it into his pocket. The first few days went by fast. All we did was eat hotdogs and talk about me and Eli.

"So have you done it yet?" He asked while stuffing his face with a hot dog. I playfully slapped his shoulder, "No, we haven't. And even if we did, I wouldn't discuss my sex life with my brother." I said rolling my eyes. "So you could be lying about your hot, sweaty sex life?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "Hot and sweaty? More like nonexistent. I'm not ready for sex and, and this conversation is completely inappropriate." I said standing up, heading for bed.

Eli's POV:

I miss her. I messed up, but now I'm sober, and I have to get her back. I ran downstairs and start my car. As I'm driving, I dial Clare's number:

"Hello?"

"Eli?"

"Jake? Put Clare on the phone."

"No can do."

"Why not?"

"Eli, she needs time away from you."

"She's my girlfriend!"

"She's my sister. Back off, you can see her in a week."

"Let me talk to her."

**Jake's POV:**

"No, she doesn't want to talk to you!"

Clare sits next to me on the couch, "Is that Eli?"

I nod, and hear Eli yell:

"Jake, just let me talk to her! I need to apologize!"

"Dude, are you crying?"

Clare grabs my arm, "He's crying?"

By now, Eli is sobbing uncontrollably, "Please, I-I just n-need to talk to C-Clare!"

Clare reaches for the phone, but I push her away. She fake-reaches for it with her left hand, and when I try to block, she grabs the phone with her right hand.

**Clare's POV:**

I got the phone and push away from Jake.

"Eli?"

"Clare?"

"What's up?"

"Please let me come get you, we can work things out."

"Eli, Jake's right. We need some time away."

I see Jake smile, and I roll my eyes.

"No, please. Clare I miss you. I messed up. I know, but I'm coming to you."

"Don't. Stay at home, I'll see you in a week."

I hang up, and toss the phone at Jake.

**Eli's POV:**

I'm 20 minutes from the cabin. I smiling and crying at the same time, I sure hope Jake's sleeping.

-20 minutes later-

I park my car farther from the cabin, and walk 5 minutes until I see Jake's truck. I can see Clare and Jake inside talking, and then Clare stands up and heads off. Jake washes the dishes, and then walks toward the door. I duck in the bushes, and watch as he comes awfully close, gathering some logs piled outside the door. He goes inside, restocks the fireplace, and then heads off to bed.

I wait around 45 minutes, until I'm sure everyone's asleep. I walk around the cabin, until I see Clare sleeping in bed. I creak the window open, and tiptoe inside. I stand still for a few minutes, to make sure she's asleep.

I can't stop staring; she's so beautiful when she sleeps. I take my hand and cover her mouth, while gently shaking her. She blinks awake, and opens her eyes wide when she sees me. She tries to call for Jake, but her voice is muffled. "Shh." I say, and slowly take my hand off her. She sits up and hisses at me, "What are you doing here?!". Oh no, she's pissed. Not the reaction I was hoping for. "I missed you."

She rolls her eyes and turns away, "I told you not to come.". I sit on the bed and turn her toward me, "I missed you. What did you expect me to do?" I asked, slightly harsh. She lies down, avoiding my stare. I plop down on the bed next to her and sigh.

"I told you we needed time apart, yet you go against me, and come here." She says through gritted teeth. "I wanted to talk!" I almost yell. "Too bad, leave.". I sit up and glare at her. I stand up, walk to the door and slam it behind me. Jake comes out of his room, but I just storm past him.

**Clare's POV:**

I bury my head in my pillow and cry. I hear the door open and feel a hand placed on my back. "Clare? Why is Eli here?" I sit up, "Is? Didn't he leave?" Jake bit his lip, "Uh, no. He's uh, he's on the couch. Crying." I look up at Jake, "He's crying?" I sigh and go over to the couch.

I see Eli with his head in his knees. I sit next to him, "Eli?". He looks up with bloodshot eyes, "Yeah?". I lean forward and kiss him. He's taken aback, but soon kisses me back. "I see you two made up.", I look up to see Jake. I nod, and Jake turns away toward his bedroom.

I smile and continue kissing Eli. "I love you.". He smiles, "I'm sorry. For everything," He strokes the bruise on my cheek, "I never meant to hurt you, or anything. I love you so much Clare.". I nod, and touch the bruise, "It's never gonna happen again?" I ask. "Never.". I smile and continue kissing him.

**Eli's POV:**

I pick Clare up, and carry her into the bedroom, "Sleepy?". She nods, as I place her on the bed, and pull the covers over. I climb in as well and kiss her goodnight.

I woke up and smiled at Clare, who is still sleeping. I climb on top of her and start kissing her. She opens her eyes and giggles, "What are you doing?". "I was making out with you, but you had to wake up!". She looked at me funny, "And what would you do if I didn't wake up?". I smirk and lean forward, "Nasty things." I whisper in her ear. She pushed me off and rolled her eyes, "In your dreams.". I laugh, "You don't want to know what I dream of.".

We both looked up when the door opened, "Uh, well, since you guys made up, I'm headed home. Lock the cabin up when you're done. Condoms are in the drawer!.", Jake said, and left. I smiled, and Clare glared at me. "What? We shouldn't waste them!". A few minutes later, we heard his car start up and drive away.

I turn to Clare, "So, how far would you go with me?". "W-What?". A smirk appears on my face, "You heard me."

**Clare's POV**:

"I'm not answering that.". Eli rolls his eyes, "Well, then you tell me when to stop.". Before I could protest, Eli laid me to the bed and climbed on top of me. He started nibbling on my neck. I giggled, "Eli-". "Tell me when you want me to stop." He whispered in my ear. After that, I fell into his trance, and let him continue.

I pushed Eli up and tugged at his shirt. He pulled it off and crashed his lips into mine. I felt something poke me down below. Oh my God, Eli is hard. I usually would stop, but this is so nice. But…I can't, I need to stop. I pull my lips away and pushed Eli off of me. He gives me puppy eyes, "Too much for Saint Clare?". I stand up and grab his hand. It's time to show him I'm not all Saint. I lead him to the bathroom.

**Eli's POV:**

What is she doing? I give her a confused look, "The bathroom?". She gives a shy smile, "Yeah, I'm going to show you I can be adventurous.". I raise my eyebrows, "So, that's why were in the bathroom?". She bites her lip, "We're going to, uh, take a bath together." I laugh, "What? With our clothes on? I don't believe you.".

She takes her jacket off, "Look away, I'm going in the bath first.". I roll my eyes, and wait until I hear the bath. "I'm coming in." I warn. "Okay.". I open the curtain and see Clare sitting in the water hiding her body, with her knees against her chest. I slide in behind her, and wrap my arms around her legs, "I can't see you naked if you hide yourself.". "I'm nervous.".

"Woah, Clare, what's with all the bruises?" I stare at her back, then her arm. "Did I do these?" I ask, stroking her arm. She looks at the bruise, then touches her back, "What? No, you didn't.". I wait for an explanation. When one never came, I asked, "If I didn't, what happened?".

"Remember when we had that fight?". I roll my eyes, "We fight a lot.". "On our anniversary.". I nod slowly. "When I walked home, some guy tried to, he tried to, uh, I don't know. But he grabbed me and threw me against a wall. But the boy you saw me at the theater with, he's an old friend, and he got the guy away.". "Oh, wow. I am such an idiot." She shakes her head, "It was my fault."

When the bath was full, she leaned forward and shut the water off. Before she could cover her body, I wrapped my arms around her. She tries to cover up but I stop her, "Clare, you're beautiful. Don't hide it." I see her blush.

When we get out of the shower, we dress and go back to the bedroom. lare wraps her arms around my neck and we start making out. She tugs at my shirt, but I stop her, "If you're just going to pull off my shirt, then chicken out-" She interrupts, "I'm not. I want you, Eli." I stare at her for a moment, "Clare, I was kidding about earlier. You don't have to do this." "I want to." She tugged off my shirt, and I removed hers.

"Clare, if you're not sure, I don't want to pressure you." She answers by smashing her lips into mine and pulling me on top of her. My hands slip under her and tug at her bra strap. We sit up a little and I manage to unclip it. She pulls it away and tosses it across the room. Our chests seem to mold together.

I pull my lips away, and she wimpers at the loss. I move my head down and plant kisses all over her neck and chest. She giggles, while I begin to suck on her nipples. She moans and tangles her hands in my hair. "Tell me if I should stop." I whisper and gently start pushing my hips into hers. "O-Oh" She stutters. She pulls me closer and I cautiously start to propel up and down.

"Eli..." She moans. "Does that feel good?" I ask. "Y-Y-Yes." She stammers every thrust. I slow down and stop, then move my hands down her waist and run my hands along the hem of her pants, "Can I take these off?" I ask. She nods slowly. I sit up so I'm stradling her and unbutton her pants. She's breathing deeply as I unzip them and start to slid them down. She's wearing purple lace underwear. I climb off of her so she can get the pants off completly.

"Oh my God." I whisper. "What?" She ask, suddenly self contious. "You...are so fucking beutiful." I brush my fingers against her cheek and slowly stroke it down her body, around her chest and start rubbing her through her underwear. "Can I try something?" Clare squeeks. I smirk, "You may."

She sits up and hesitantly touches me through my pants. She expirments and figures out I like when she massages my bulge. I groan and roll my eyes back letting her do all the touching. She stops massaging me and starts to unbutton my pants. Me, being to impatient to wait for her touch, practiaccly rip my pants off and climb atop her. I grab her shoulders and grind into her.

"I'm taking this off." I state, and slide her underwear down. She tenses and stares as I throw my boxers off. I rip open a condom with my teeth and slide it on. I position myself over her, "Can I?" I whisper. "W-Will it hurt?" I nod, "But, I'll be as gentle as I can." She nods and I slowly push into her. She gasps and scratches my back, "Ow, Eli, please stop, hurts!" I pull myself out and lay beside her, "I'm sorry, Babe. We can stop." She shakes her head, "No, I mean, I don't know why it hurts. I'm sorry."

"Maybe your not wet enough." I reach down and slide my finger into her. "Nope. Don't worry, I'll handle it." I move to the edge of the bed and lean down toward her middle. Using my fingers, I spread her lips and gently lick her. She trembles excitedly and moans as I move my tongue in and out of her hole. I make sure not to slurp up her liquids, as I need her to be as wet as possible.

I sit up and manage to slide 2 fingers into her. "Tell me if you want to stop." I said and started pumping in and out of her. She gasps and panted, "I-I think I'm r-r-ready, Eli." I nodded and climbed up to her. Before we started, I wanted to kiss her. I lay on the side of her, cupped her cheeks, and roughly kissed her. She reached down and touched my hard member. Stroking it up and down, I had to stop her, "I don't want to finish now."

She looked confused, so I explained, "If you touch me now, I'll, you know, cum and be to exausted to...do it." She nods and pulls me on top of her. I kiss her on the forehead and, as slow as I can, move myself inside her. He grabs my shoulders and clenches her eyes close. "Tell me if it hurts." Clare's pussy seemed to pull me in and welcome me. I was in as far as I could go and I could see Clare was in pain. "Shh." I kiss her tears, "It'ss feel good in a moment. Tell me when I can move."

I have to wait a few minutes but my beutiful girlfreind finally says, "Okay, I think you can move." Before moving, I wisper, "I love you, Clare." And begin slowly moving in and out. I push harder with each thrust. After searching around, Clare cries out. I've found her G-Spot. I continues drilling into her, grunting loudly, slamming her in the bed.

"Oh my God, Eli. I-I-" Her walls begin to clench around me and I release my fluids. I completly collaspe on her panting loudly. "I love you." She whispers.

* * *

**Yeah...they did it. Pretty dramatic. Idk. Reveiws?**


	3. Future Ex Girlfriend

**And I don't care that you're a model**  
**No, 'cause let me say it's clear to tell **  
**that your brain is shot to hell**  
**And no one cares that you love Keanu**  
**Oh, what's the difference anyway**  
**Everybody knows that he's gay**  
**Okay, I really don't know that**  
**But let's face it**  
**He's too hot to be straight!**

**-Future Ex-Girlfriend, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

* * *

-A week after the mind blowing cabin sex-

**Clare's POV:**

"I can't believe we're graduating in a month! I'm so proud of you!" I cry. "Proud of me? I should be proud of you, graduating a year early. You are incredible.". I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. We kiss passionately. "Hey love birds.". We turn to see Adam. "Hey bro." Eli and Adam fist bump, and start talking about comics.

I'm glad Eli is busy with Adam, he's been suffocating me ever since he found out how I got those bruises. "I'll see you guys later." I say, and begin walking. "I'll come!" Eli calls, putting his arm around me. I turn around, "No, Eli it's alright. Hang out with Adam.". He gives me a puzzled look, "And leave my girlfriend? I can hang out with Adam anytime.".

"You can hang out with me anytime, too." I say, hoping he'll get the message. "And I'm doing that now." He smiles and continues walking with me. "Okay." I mutter. He walked me to homeroom, and pulled me into a needy kiss. I pull away, "I'll see you later.", and rush into homeroom. "I love you!" I hear Eli call.

**Eli's POV:**

I run to my homeroom, and get there late. "Elijah, do you have an excuse for being late?". I shake my head and sit down. I don't have time to pay attention to the morning announcements. I'm too busy planning on how to ask Clare to prom. I want to do something really romantic. I hear the bell ring, and make my way out of class. I walk into English and head over to Clare, "Hey.". I wrap my arms around her. "Hi Eli.". I smile, "Are you busy tomorrow?". She shakes her head, "What do you have planned?". "A surprise."

-After School-

Clare and I have a study date today, so we're walking to my hearse right now. "Clare!". We both turn to see Jake, who I glare at. "Clare, Glen and Helen need us home. Some kind of a talk or something.". Clare glances at me, "I'll see you tomorrow?". "No! I'll drive you!" I cry. "Eli, it's out of your way, I'll just go with Jake.". "Don't worry, I don't mind, as long as I'm with you.". I smile and lead her back to the car.

**Clare's POV:**

Eli opens the car, and helps me in. He closes the door and rushes to his side. I'm pissed at Eli, he's being so clingy, it's annoying. I just glare out the window. "You okay?". I roll my eyes, "Fine.". "What's wrong?" He asked. "You didn't have to give me a ride. Jake could've.". He pulls up to my house, "I just want to spend every moment I can with my girlfriend. Either way, you're here. It doesn't matter how you arrived." He says. "That's the thing! It doesn't matter. I could've ridden with Jake, but no!" I yell. "Clare, wh-what going on?" He put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I pull away, "Never mind, my parents are waiting.".

I slam the door and storm away. "Clare? I'll pick you up tomorrow?" I don't answer. "I love you!" He yells. I walk in the house, and see Jake, Glen and my mom sitting in the living room. "So, what's the talk about?", I notice that Glen and my mom aren't sitting next to each other, so I sit next to my mom. She holds my hand tightly. "Clare, Jake, this is really hard to say..." My mom starts. She takes a deep breathe, "Me and Glen are getting, we're getting divorced.

I feel my face grow hot, and tears flood my eyes. I pull away from my mom and run upstairs, slamming my door. I can't believe this, another divorce. I hear my door open, "Clare? You okay? Dad and Helen went to the lawyer's." I sit up and see Jake. He takes a seat on the bed, and I immediately hug him. He hesitates for a moment but hugs me back. "She's already had one divorce! I-I can't believe this!" I cry into Jake's chest. "Shh, shh, it's okay." He says, rocking me back and forth.

I cried in Jake's arm for 10 minutes. I let go of him, "Sorry. I-I just can't believe this.". "It's okay, sis.". I fake a laugh, "You won't be able to say that for much longer.". He smiles, "Maybe that's a good thing.". "What do you mean?". He smirks, "All I'm saying is, maybe when you're done with Emo Boy, maybe we could pick up where we left off.". "Woah, I'm still with Eli, don't get any ideas.". "Clare, I was joking. I like you, but I won't try anything.".

I smile, "It doesn't matter, I guess. Eli and I aren't really getting along.". "Oh, I'm sorry. What's happening?". I bite my lip, "He's acting weird. He's being so clingy, I can't stand it.". "Sorry. I gotta go pack.". I nod, and hug Jake before he leaves, "Thanks. For being here.". He smiles, and made his way to the hallway.

Once I was all alone, I began bawling again. I cried until dinner, which was eaten in total silence. My mom tried to talk to me after, but I didn't feel like it. Once I got in my room, my phone rang. A text from Eli:

Babe, I'm sorry we fought.

Whatever.

You still mad?

It's not all your fault.

Who else upset you? I'll beat them up.

You're gonna beat up my mom?

What happened?

Can we not talk about it?

Okay, what are you doing now?

Nothing, just lying in my bed.

Hmm, maybe I should come over?

We're hanging out tomorrow.

I miss you, just wait. I'll be over there soon, okay?

No Eli, I'll see you tomorrow.

And tonight.

I sighed and threw my phone to the wall. The back came off, and my battery fell out. I don't even care, Eli's being such an ass. As if on cue, I heard a knock on the window. I buried my head in a pillow as Eli pushed open the window. "Hello my beautiful lady.". Eli sat down next to me., and rubbed my back. I sat up quickly, "We need to talk.". He wrapped his arms around me, "What about?". I pushed him away, "Eli, you're being really clingy.". He takes my hands in his own, "Because I love you.". I pull away, "We need to break up.".

Eli's eyes shot open, "W-What? No! We can work this out.". I bit my lip, "No, Eli, I'm sorry. You're too clingy, and there's a lot going on in my life. It's just too hard." I say. Eli's face is full of tears and his lips trembling, "Please Clare. Whatever's happening, we can fix it.". I shake my head, "Eli, just, we can't. I'm sorry.". "Clare, I love you.". "Stop. Just leave.". He stares into my eyes for a few minutes, then climbed out the window.

I collapse on my bed and cry. I'm relieved that Eli and I are over, but he was so sad. I heard someone run upstairs, and Jake sat down next to me. "Eli and I broke up." I say, weakly smiling. He looks at me funny, "You're crying and smiling at the same time, should I be happy or sad for you?". I collapse into his arms, "I don't know! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but he cried, and I feel so bad!". "Shh, it's okay. It's only Eli.". I laugh, "But I still love him!". Jake nods, "I know, but you weren't happy with him.".

"I didn't even give him a chance!". "What do you mean?" I bite my lip, "I didn't give him a chance to fix it. He said we could get through this. But I never gave him a chance.". Jake hugged me and rocked me back and forth.

**Eli's POV:**

I stare into the box of everything I had planned for tomorrow. Flowers, candles, balloons, a picnic. Everything, useless now. $200 down the drain. I close the box and push it back under my bed. The scissors on my desk seem to be the only escape. I grab them and slit my wrist over and over. I don't stop until my arm is covered in blood.

-The Next Morning-

When I wake up, part of my blanket is soaked in blood. I missed a text from Adam:

Today's the big day! Good luck on asking Clare

Screw you.

What?

We broke up.

What? Why?!

Ask her.

Are you okay?

No, I don't want to talk about it.

Okay, but I'm always here.

Thanks

I drop my phone, and cry. The best thing in my life. Gone. I grabbed the scissors and hacked at my other arm.

-Monday Morning-

My arms were wrecked. Cuts everywhere. It was dying hot outside, and I have to wear a long sleeve hoodie. I can barely keep my eyes open; I spent all night cutting myself.

I open my locker and rip out all the photos of Clare and I. I throw them in the trash, and then stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and weak. I pull my hoodie up and rest my head.

I feel someone grab my arm, "Hey dude, you okay?". I cry out and yank my arm back, "Ow!", I say as I rub my arm. Adam grabs my hand and pulls up my sleeve. I jump away and push it down. "Dude, what the hell?". I slam my locker, "Leave me alone.". Adam stops me, "Leave you alone? You can't do that to yourself!". "Adam, please just leave me alone. This isn't your problem.".

I walk away and sulk into homeroom. I drown out the noise and bury my head in my arms. The bell rings. I have English, great. I walk into English, "Mr. Goldsworthy, isn't it a little hot for long sleeves? What's the occasion?". I don't answer, but Adam does, "Oh, he has a big reason.". I glare at Adam and shove him down, "Mind your business!". "Elijah!" Yells Ms. Dawes. I run out of class and to my locker.

I sulk down the wall and bury my head in my legs. I hear Mr. Simpson's voice on the speaker.

Will Elijah Goldsworthy please report to my office?

I trudge to the principal's office and sit down. "Eli, you shoved Adam down?" He asks. I nod. "Why?". "I overreacted I guess.". He sighs, "Overreacting or not, you're getting suspended." I roll my eyes, "Whatever.". "Come back Monday.". I stand up and make my way to the parking lot.

**Clare's POV:**

I lean over and whisper to Adam, "Why did he shove you?". Adam whispers back, "I found out something this morning, and I should've just minded my own business'.". I stare at Adam. "What did you find out?". Adam shakes his head, "I shouldn't say."

-2 Weeks Later-

Me and Jake are sitting in the living room, while my mom and his dad are screaming at each other. Jake looks up, "Can I ask you something?". I nod. "Do, you, maybe want to go to prom? With me?". My face lights up, "I'd love to.". "Sweet.". Glen stomps downstairs and grabs Jake's hand, "We're going.". He drags Jake away, but I can't stop smiling.

-Prom-

The doorbell rings and I see Jake. He's wearing a tux, and hands me a corsage. I smile and take his hand. We soon arrive at prom and start dancing. I can see Eli sitting and crying, with Adam trying to comfort him. I pull away from Jake, "Can we go outside? It's hot in here.".

He nods and leads me out the door. "Eli was crying in there." I say. He nods, "Sorry. I know you miss him.". "No, I don't. I still love him, but I'm glad we're over. He was so overwhelming.". "Plus he beat you.". "He hit me once, accidentally.". "Whatever.". I laugh, and lean into Jake, placing my lips on his. His kisses back and holds my waist.

"You can't be serious."

We look up and see Eli staring. "Eli-". He shakes his head, "It-it's fine. I see how it is. Dump me and go for wood chopper.". Jake takes a step toward Eli, "Eli man, get over it-" Eli jumped at Jake and punched him. I gasped, while the boys fought. Jake pushed Eli off of him, "Get out of here, freak!".

Eli glares at Jake, then turns to me. He has a sad face on, a face of regret and sadness. I cry and turn away

-Graduation-

Jake and I are dating now, our parents are divorced, and it's graduation day. I haven' talked to Eli since prom, but him and Jake fought a few times, nothing serious. We are all officially graduated and just getting pictures. Me and Jake just got ours taken, and are sitting down talking. We look up to see Eli walking toward us.

Jake stands up with his fist clenched. "Jake, wait. I don't want to fight.". "Then what the hell do you want?". Eli looks like he's going to cry, "Never mind, it's fine." He starts to turn away, "Eli, what is it?" I ask, standing up. "I, I was, uh, wondering if we could take a picture together?". I nod and walk toward Eli. Jake glares at us, "It's one picture." I say. He rolls his eyes, "Go ahead."

We take a picture, and each gets a copy. Eli looks ecstatic when he sees the picture. "Thanks, Clare.". I smile and nod. He walks over to Adam and shows him the picture. I roll my eyes and make my way over to Jake. "I missed you." I sit on his lap. "Have fun with Eli?". I look up, "It was a picture, I owe him that much.". Jake rolls his eyes and stands up, "Save it, you ready to go?". I nod.

As we're driving home, Jake looks up, "Hey, have you ever thought about us moving in together?". "With your dad?". He shakes his head, "No, I have some money saved up. We could get an apartment. Do you want to?". I smile and nod.

* * *

**I'm sorry...I had to. They need drama! Please don't hate me... Hehehe, review...?**


	4. Ex Lover's Lover

**What if I were to cut you up and mail each part  
To a different town? It would take the most  
Brilliant private eye the rest of his life  
Just to put you together.  
A piece in each mailbox all over the planet  
From Moscow to Tokyo to Guadalajara.**

**-Ex Lover's Lover, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

**I'm sorry...I keep making all Clare's boyfriends into asses...Sorry...**

* * *

-A Week Later-

"This is a nice apartment.". Jake nods, and we continue carrying in our boxes. I walk through and look at the two rooms, "Which one do you want?". He laughs, "We can share one.". "O-Oh, Okay.". "It's not like we're going to be doing anything, I remember you vow.". "Thanks. Adam's coming over later." I say and smile.

Jake nods, and starts unpacking. I open the box with all my photo's and start putting them on the table. I have the one with Eli and I on graduation; I put that on the shelf. I find another one with Eli, one taken in winter. I place that one on the table. I unpack several with of Jake and I, and one of Adam.

"Why do you have some of Eli?" He asked. "I just never got rid of them." He reaches for them, "I guess that time's now.". I grab them away, "No, I want to keep them.". He glares at me, "He's your ex." "I'm keeping them."

-Later That Day-

Adam just left, we had fun. We watched a movie, then ate dinner with Jake. "I'm going to take a shower." I call. He nods. I walk into the bathroom, close the door, and undress. I turn onto the water and start scrubbing my body. I hear the curtain open and turn around to see Jake. I turn back around and cover my body, "Jake, what are you doing?!".

"Taking a shower with my girlfriend." He says nonchalant. "I-I'm not comfortable, I'm going to watch T.V.". I start to climb out, but Jake grabs my arm, "Come on, shower with me?" I pull away, grab a towel, and go into the bedroom. I quickly got dressed and crawled under the covers.

I reached over for a Chuck Palanuik book, and started reading. Jake came in a few minutes later, with a towel around his waist. He grabbed some clothes and went to change elsewhere. He came back dressed in pajama pants and no shirt. "Nice abs." I say as he comes in bed. "Didn't seem to think that earlier." He comments. I sit up, "You're mad because I wouldn't take a shower with you?". "There's nothing wrong with showering with me.". "I've only showered with one guy, and it was really awkward!" I blurt out.

"What? Who?!" He sits up too. "I-It doesn't mater. Forget it." I stutter. "So you'll shower with Prince Goth, but not with me?! Maybe we shouldn't sleep in the same bed either!" He stands up and slams the door. I plop back onto my bed and pull out my phone. There's a missed text from…Eli:

_Hey, I just wanted to thank you for the pictures. It meant a lot._

_Yeah, no problem._

_What's wrong?_

_How'd you know something was wrong?_

_I can read your mind._

_Sure you can. Me and Jake just had a fight._

_What about?_

_It's nothing, really._

_Well, what is it?_

_You won't laugh?_

_You have my word._

_I didn't want to shower with him._

_Why not? We took a bath together._

_Yeah, but, wait, you won't laugh?_

_I will not._

_Okay, I don't feel as close to him as I do with you. Like, I feel more comfortable with you as I do with him. I don't know why._

_Weird._

_Wait! I meant felt. Sorry._

_Sure you do, I still have my mojo._

_You wish._

I look up to see Jake in the doorway. I type Eli one last text:

_I'll text you later?_

_Sure thing, I know you can't resist me._

_Whatever, bye._

"Who are you texting?" He sits on the bed. "No one.". He nods, "We're old enough to shower together.". I sit up and gape at him, "We're still debating this? Just drop it!". He shakes his head, "No I won't. You're my girlfriend, and we get to shower together."

I fake a laugh, "You don't get to command me!". "But you're my girlfriend!". I roll my eyes, "Forget it." I storm off and slam the door. I make my way into the guest bed room and lie down. "Clare!" Jake yells. Seconds later, he pushes the door open.

"Clare, come on." He pulls me up and leads me down the hall. He pulls me in to the bathroom and closes the door. "No, Jake. What don't you get?" I walk toward the door, but he blocks it. "Come on, it's only showering.". "No." I say through gritted teeth. He ignores me and starts taking off my jacket, "You did it with Eli!". He starts pulling up my shirt, but I slap him and run out.

I take out my phone and call Eli:

"Eli?"

"Clare?"

"C-Can you come pick me up?"

"What? Where are you?"

"At our apartment, the Moonlight Rooms. Please come get me."

"No problem, be there soon."

"Thanks Eli."

"See you soon."

I hang up and make walk to the office. Minutes later, I see a familiar hearse pull up. Eli pulls over and pushes the door open for me. I climb in and put my seatbelt on. "So, where to?". I shrug, "C-Could I maybe spend the night at y-your house?" "Sure." He say nonchalant. I look up, "R-Really? Thanks."

We get to an apartment building and he leads me inside, "So, what's wrong? "Jake's being an ass." I say. "Must be, Saint Clare said 'ass'. What'd he do?" "Can we not talk about it?" He nods, and unlocks a door.

"You hungry?" He asked, as he went into the kitchen. I shake my head.

'So, are you and Jake still together?" I shrug, "I don't know." He nods, "You should talk to him." "No." I toss my phone onto the couch, and follow Eli down the hall.

Eli led me to a guest bedroom, "Have a good sleep." "So what does your room look like?" I ponder. He shakes his head, "Just a room." He says quickly. "Eli, can I see it?" I ask, suspecting he's hiding something. He shakes his head, "Goodnight." I roll my eyes and make my way over to Eli, "Eli, are you hoarding?". He glares at me, "No, and it's none of your business.".

Eli's POV:

I walk down the hall and into the kitchen. As I'm pouring a glass of whiskey, I hear a vibrating noise. I look down to see Clare's phone. Jake's calling. I grab the phone and carry it down the hall. I hand it to Clare, close the door, then pretend to go back to the kitchen. I push my ear against the closed door and listen, but I can only hear Clare:

"What do you want?"

"None of your business."

"No, I'm at a friend's."

"Why do you care?"

"Well, it doesn't matter. He actually cares about me."

"You don't need to know who it is."

"I don't want to; I'll see you in the morning."

I heard her hang up the phone, and I crept back into the kitchen. I finished my glass and poured another one. I lay on the couch, too lazy to walk to my room, and try to sleep. Right when I'm about to fall asleep, I hear a pounding at the door. I stand up and sulk to it.

I open the door to see Jake standing there. My vision blurred from the whiskey, so I almost don't notice Jake shove past me and storm down the hall. "Clare! We're going home!" Jake returns with Clare in hand. She pulls away but he grabs her wrist and yanks her toward him.

I shove him back, only to receive a punch to the face. I stumble back and fall down

Clare's POV:

I gasp when Eli hits the counter. "Let's go." Jake grabs my arm, but I kneel down next to Eli. He hit the corner, and there's blood. I feel the back of his head, and feel warm liquid ooze out. "Jake! Y-You, he's, he's bleeding!" I scream. Eli groans and blinks several times. His eyes show an empty look. "Eli? Are you okay?!"

He sits up, feels his head, and stares at Jake. Eli reached into the pocket, and pulled out a pistol. He points it at Jake, "Get out." I grab Jake's hand and pull him out of the apartment. "What we're you thinking? Going to that psycho's house?! You know better!" He yells.

I glare at him, "You're the one who provoked him." We get into the truck, and drive home in silence.

-The Next Morning-

Eli's POV:

I wake up on the couch, clutching the pistol. I wipe blood from the counter, and pour bleach on the carpet. I open face range and go to Jake's profile. One of his posts says he's going to his parents for the day. Perfect. I drive to Clare's apartment, and ask the office which room belongs to her. When they say they're not allowed to say, I say I'm her brother, and they easily gave me the room number.

I reach her apartment and knock on the door. A few seconds later, it opens. I see Clare, who backs away when she sees me. "Clare, wait." She glances up, "What are you doing here?" She asks. "I came to see if you're okay. I-I'm sorry I pulled a gun on you guys. I was scared and-and I was, uh-" She interrupts, "Drunk?" I bite my lip and nod.

She steps aside, letting me come in. I walk in and she sits on the couch. I sit next to her. "Why do you even have a gun? Or whiskey?" She asks concerned. "I've had both for a while." "What? Why?" I glance into her eyes, "Why for the whiskey or why for the gun?" She thinks for a moment, "For the gun."

I nod. "I bought it to kill myself." My vision starts to blur with unshed tears. Clare gapes at me, "K-Kill yourself? Why?!" I close my eyes, and tilt my head back, taking a deep breath, "I am so depressed. I hate my life, and every few days I take out the gun. I point it to my head, and imagine pulling the trigger. I have nothing to live for."

She shakes her head, "No Eli, you can't! Promise me you won't!" She cries. I shake my head, "I can't promise that." She's about to answer, but I jump when I hear Jake. "Clare, I home! My mom was sick." I stand and run down the hall. Luckily, Clare has carpet, so my footsteps are silent.

I turn into the first room I see and climb out the window.

Clare's POV:

I pick up my phone and pretend I'm talking to Ali. When Jake comes in, I say goodbye to "Ali" and toss my phone away. "Hey babe." I roll my eyes, "Leave me alone." He walks over to me, "You're still mad?" I nod. "I'm sorry, but Eli's insane. He pulled a gun on us!" "He pulled a gun on you." I correct.

He rolls his eyes and takes my hand. He leads me to the bathroom. When I try to pull away, he pulls me back. "Jake, stop!" He closes and locks the door, "Shh, it'll be alright." I shake my head. "Clare, don't worry. We're going to shower together, but in our underwear." I glance up at him with my eyebrows raised.

He undresses first. I stare at his bare chest, and then notice the bulge in his boxers. He doesn't have a boner, I know because I've seen Eli's. Jake must just be…blessed. He walks over to me and takes my clothes off. We shower, and it actually wasn't that bad, except that he tried to take our clothes off a few times.

Later, Ali called me to invite me over for a while. I went to her house, and we we're watching TV. Suddenly, I had to barf. I stood and ran to the trashcan and start to puke my dinner up. Ali runs to me, and holds my hair back. I stand up and wipe my mouth. "Clare, are you okay?" I nod.

Ali bites her lip, then asks "When was the last time you had your period?" I think back, and realize I've missed last month, and I should be getting mine now. "Oh my God! You and Jake are going to parents!" She hugs me. I blink rapidly, "Jake and I haven't had sex." She stares at me confused, "Then who-" She stops and opens her eyes wide, "Eli?!"

I nod and start to cry. "It's okay sweetie, I know what to do." I look up at Ali and wait for her to explain. "Sleep with Jake, and tell him it's his!" I shake my head, "I can't." She stares at me to continue. I lean forward and whisper to her, "Jake is big down there. He'll rip me in half." She laughs, "Either endure it or bring another Eli in this world. We already have one too many."

-At Home-

I'm sitting on the couch, crying. I don't know what to do, or if I should even tell Jake. I hear the door open, and wipe my tears away fast. I feel Jake's cold hands cover my eyes. He walks around and kisses me. I feel him sit on the couch and remove his hands.

"You've been crying?" He asks, noticing my reddened eyes. I nod. "Why?" I bite my lip and begin to cry even more, "I-I'm pregnant. I-It's Eli's." I choke out. He gaps at me, "What?!" He stands up and slams his fist on the counter. "I don't believe this!" I cry even more. He keeps shaking his head, "Why wouldn't you use protection?!" He cries. Before I can answer, "Okay, okay, it's okay. We'll just go to the clinic in the morning."

"The clinic?" I ask. "Yeah, you can get an abortion." I shake my head, "No! It's my child, I'm not killing it!" I cry. He laughs, "It's Eli's child. And you are. Don't worry. Let's go to dinner, and we can talk about it." I nod and he leads me outside. We stop when we see a man kneeled beside Jake's truck. We walk closer and see it's Eli.

"Eli?" I call. He stumbles back, dropping a paper bag. Sugar falls out. He was pouring it in the gas tank. Jake doesn't move for a moment, then tackles Eli to the ground. He punches Eli repeatedly. I try to pull Jake off of him, while I cry for him to stop. Jake finally stands up, only to deliver several kicks to Eli's ribcage.

I bend down next to Eli, and stare into his swollen eyes. He's covered in blood, and has tears running down his face. I stand up and turn to Jake, "What is your problem?!" "He's going to ruin my car!" I roll my eyes and shove past Jake. I storm the apartment and go to my room. I slam and lock the door.

Jake comes in the apartment an hour later, and tries to open the bedroom door. "Clare, unlock the door." He says. "Sleep by yourself!" I yell. I hear silence then the door crashed down. Jake had charged at it. I stared in disbelief at the remains of the door. He walked over to the bed and lay down. I turn away, and cry softly. "Clare-" "Leave me alone."

-The Next Morning-

Eli's POV:

I'm in the hospital. I broke a few ribs, and one punctured my lung. I had surgery last night, but I refused to tell how I acquired the injuries. If Jake's in prison, I can't hurt him.

-3 days later-

I get to go home. I can't breathe well, and I have a bunch of pills. Pain killers and antibiotics. I don't bother telling Clare what Jake did to me. I hate him. He's going to pay. It's late at night, and I drive to town. I find a man standing on the curb, and ask him if he's selling. He nods. I buy $300 dollars of Marijuana.

I'm back at Jake's apartment, and I put all the weed in his car. I light a little so it smells. I open the hood, and deattach Jake's blinkers so they no longer work. I leave; my work is done.

* * *

**Idk. Reveiw, please?**


	5. Feathery Wings

**You, there on the bridge.  
Where have you been, what's your name?  
And you, there you on the wall.  
Where will you go to once you fall?  
You, lost at sea,  
Do you need me, do you need directions?  
Hey, put down the gun.  
What are you thinking?  
You were someone's son.**

**-Feathery Wings, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez  
**

* * *

-The Next Day: 10:23am-

Clare's POV:

My phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but answer it.

"Hello?"

"Clare, its Jake. You got to come get me!"

"After last night? Where are you anyways?"

"I'm at th-the station."

"The police station?"

"Please come get me."

"You beat up Eli, this is your punishment."

"No, they found weed in my car!"

"You smoke weed?!"

"No! It was planted!"

"Sure it was. I'm coming. See you in half an hour."

-At The Station-

I walk in, sign some paper, talk to an officer, and take Jake home. "Thanks, Clare." I roll my eyes, "Whatever." He holds my hand, "I swear, those drugs weren't mine." "Then why were they in your truck?!" "I don't know!" He yells. We get home, and I tell Jake to call a repair man to fix the door.

Eli's POV:

I borrow Adam's car, I tell him Morty's broken again, and park by Jake's truck. Luckily Adam's car has tinted windows, so Jake won't be able to see me. I wait until he comes out, starts his car and drives away. I follow him. He pulls over to a fast-food joint and starts to walk in. I walk over to him and stop him, "I heard you took a trip to the cop-shop."

He nods. The look on his face shows he's not sure what I want. "Teaches you not to mess with me, doesn't it?" It takes him a moment to realize what I mean, but when he does, he's pisses, "Wait? You planted those? Oh, you are so dead, Goldsworthy." I nod and start to walk away; well aware he'll tackle me.

I predict correct when I hear footsteps pounding the concrete. The stop and I move out of the way. Jake body slams the pavement, groaning in pain. "Eli, why are you doing this to me?" I laugh demonically, "You basically stole Clare from me. You have to pay. And I'm not even close to done." I walk away laughing and drive home.

-Later-

Clare's POV:

Jake just got home. We we're cuddling on the couch, watching a movie. Jake suddenly got up and paused it, "We need to talk about Baby Goldsworthy." I sigh, "Fine." "Why do you even want to keep it? It's Eli's!" I hold my breath for a moment, "I don't believe in abortion, and it's my child too. I want to raise it."

He rolls his eyes, "If you have a child, I want it to be mine." "I know. But, when I tell Eli, he can help us-" "You're telling Eli?!" I gawk at him, "What'd you expect?! It's his kid too!" "Stop. Stop saying kid. Stop saying that. And stop saying it's Eli's. Because you're not having it." I stand up, "Screw you, I'm going to bed."

-The Next Morning-

Eli's POV:

Revenge is sweet. Especially when it involves Jake being in pain. Now, all I'm going to do is talk to him. For now. Within minutes, I'm at the apartment. I walk in and knock on the door. Jake answers, glaring at the sight of me. "What the hell are you doing here?" I smirk, "It's nice to see you too. Can I come in?"

He hesitates, but stands aside. I walk in, and we sit at the table. "I came to apologize. I know I've been kind of a jerk." I lie. He laughs, "Kind of? You've been an ass!" "Yeah. So, I came to make amends." He looks at me, trying to figure out if I'm serious. "Maybe."

Right then, Clare walks in. She looks at me then at Jake, "We're telling him?" I furrow my eyebrows, "Tell me what?" I ask, looking back between the two. "Nothing!" Jake answers quickly, "Clare, go back to the bedroom." "What's going on?" I say. Jake glares at me, "Nothing. No amends. Forget it." I grit my teeth; my plan won't work unless I gain Jake's trust, "A few minutes ago, it was a maybe."

"Eli, I hate you. You're a pathetic, psychotic ass, who can't take a hint. I hate you, Clare hates you, everyone hates you." I blink, feel my hand reaching for my gun, but run out before I can do anything. I drive, fighting back tears. It's dark, and I can barely see. I drive home, pour myself a mountain of whiskey and begin the first of many drinks to come.

"Clare's POV:

"What the hell is your problem?!" I scream. "It's true. No one likes him." I glare at Jake, "I like him. I love him. More then I'll ever love you." "Good, 'cause unless you can get rid of your kid, we're done!" "Fine by me. I'm staying at Adam's." I walk out and slam the door, and start driving.

By the time I'm at Adam's, my face is covered with tears. I knock on the door, and he soon answers. "A-Adam, please. I need somewhere to stay. Jake and I broke up." He hugs me for a moment, then lets me in. "Why did you guys break up?" I cry even more, "I'm carrying Eli's baby."

He gapes at me wide eyed, "You're pregnant? What did Eli say?!" I smile sadly, "I haven't told him." Adam shakes his head, "Wow." I cry and lean over to hug him, "Please don't tell him." Adam nods, and leads me to the bed. He lays next to me and rubs my shoulders, "Do you want to stay here for a while." I shrug, "Maybe. You're an amazing friend, Adam." He smiles, "Should I sleep on the couch?" I shake my head, "Stay here." We fall asleep, comforted by each others presence.

-The Next Morning-

When I wake up, there's a missed call from Jake. I call him back:

"You called?"

"Yeah, I'm moving out, you can have the apartment. I'm going to Vancouver for a month to figure out what I'm gonna do. Then I'll come back for the rest of my stuff."

"O-Okay, are you home now?"

"Just leaving."

"Okay, bye."

I quickly thank Adam and go home. I make sure to take my time so I avoid Jake. I get home and walk inside. All of Jake's important stuff is gone, his computer, toothbrush, phone, etc. I see an envelope on the counter. I open it and find several bills inside. On the back of the envelope, it says

_Tell the baby I said hi._

_-The guy who's kid you should be having._

I cry at the note and put it in a drawer. When I count the money, it adds up to $436.

-A Month Later-

Eli's POV:

I can't handle this anymore. Jake has Clare, and what do I have? Nothing. And I will never have anything. Not Clare, not anyone. I chased her away, just like I chased everyone else away.

It's all over. I can't do this anymore! I can't ever get Clare back. She's Jake's now. All I do is hurt others around me. I have to stop that.

I watch as a car passes me, and fades into the dark. Silence takes over, and a chill rides up his back. I hurt so many people, Clare being one of them. I still love her, always have, always will. I hope I'm still somewhere in her heart. I hope she'll never forget me.

I look down, over the railing at the jagged rocks resting right above the water. They'll split my skull, and I'll feel pain for less then a minute. Barely any, compared to what I've caused others. I grabbed onto the lamppost and hoisted myself onto the railing.

I waiting for the command that will send me flying down into...bliss. No more suffering.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER!

Idk. Short chapter, but I got a request from one of my favorite authors (SilentWriter987) so I updated. Please leave reviews, they warm my heart.


	6. Blue Eyed Matador

**___There in the stands something grabs  
My attention  
Like it is calling to me  
It's a girl with eyes like the sea  
Is she an angel sent to watch over me?_**

**_Suddenly I remember  
_****_The girl with eyes like the sea  
_****_I turn, she winks and she smiles gently  
_****_While the bull runs straight into me_**

**_-Blue Eyed Matador, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez_**

* * *

I waiting for the command that will send me flying down into... bliss. No more suffering. I close my eyes and am about to jump, until I hear a voice yell,

"Stop! Eli, please don't!"

I turned to see Clare running up to me. I can't even talk. Why is she here?

"C-Clare?" I barely manage to get the words out. I want to ignore her and jump. Plunge to the bottom and never come back. She continues walking toward me and, to my surprise, hugs me. I stand there, startled and frozen. I slowly, and cautiously, lift my arms and wrap them around her. I almost suspect she will back away, angry at me, still mad at all I've done to her and Jake. I wouldn't blame her. I also think she may back away out of the hug, only to lean back in and kiss me. But that's just hope.

She doesn't do either, so I just start to cry and hold her tighter than before. I never want to let go. I want to stand here forever, and hold her as tight as I can. When she lets go, I die a little. I bet she'll leave now. Go back from whence she came, and leave me alone to, once again, be swallowed by my own self-hate and depression.

I get lost in her blue eyes, and everything starts to blur. My eyes are filling with unshed tears. She grabs my hand lightly and lead me into the darkness. I see a car and quickly recognize it as the one that passed earlier. Clare opens the passenger door and helps me inside. I don't get it. Why is she helping me? Why was she here? Why does she care?

I watch as she reaches behind the seat and reveals a blanket, and spreads it over me. She closes the door, and I watch her walk around the car. I begin crying, and feel like she's leaving and never coming back. My breathing becomes rapid and I feel like I'm dying. What if she's never coming back? I rock back and forth, trying to calm myself.

I hear the driver's door open. The feel Clare's warm body next to mine. She wraps her arms around me and whispers softly, "Eli calm down. It's alright. Shh, I'm here." My breathing slows and I nod. She pulls away and looks at me for a moment. I still don't understand! Why is she being so nice?!

She starts the car and warm air floods into the car, soothing my chills. Tears stop flowing and I relax a little. I don't even know where she's taking me, but as long as she's there too, I'm fine with it. After 10 minutes of driving in silence, she turns into an apartment building.

When she parks, I just sit, not knowing what to do, or what to say. I'm afraid to talk. I'm afraid he might say something to hurt her, and she will drive him back to the bridge and tell me to jump. I begin to cry at the thoughts. When I look back to Clare, I see she has vanished. I turn my head when I hear my door open. Clare's waiting for me to come out. I forget the blanket is on top of me, and it falls onto the ground when I climb out. I bend down and pick it up, embarrassed I dropped it In the first place.

She takes my hand again, and I feel less dead. I guess she doesn't hate me after all. I didn't realize how cold I was. But after a few flights of stairs, she opened a door and took me into her apartment. She led me to the couch, and once again places a blanket over me. I watch as she walks into the kitchen, and I feel myself dying. I know she'll come back, but I wish she would do so sooner.

After a few minutes, she hands me a mug filled with hot chocolate. She made it so perfect, with whipped cream floating on top of the drink. And on top of the whipped cream, grated chocolate, and a small square of it. I eat the square first, and then take a long sip.

I lean forward, place the mug on the coffee table and look at Clare, who sat down next to me. I cry, suddenly feeling guilty that she is being so kind, when all I have done is hurt her. She hugs me again, trying to comfort me. I push away and ask in a small voice, "Why are you being so nice?" She's silent for a minute, then speaks "I couldn't let you jump. You still mean a lot to me."

My heart pounds when I hear these words. I close my eyes and take deep breath. "I was so awful to you. To both you and Jake. How can you forgive me? I'm a monster." I tell her in a hushed voice. I begin crying at the last part, because I know it's true.

My eyes suddenly shoot open. I stood up and backed toward the door, "J-Jake, he can't see me! I should leave. I-I don't want t-to cause any more trouble." I manage to choke out. My heart's pounding, and I feel more terrified then when Clare first found me.

"Eli! Don't worry, we're not together anymore. We broke up." She says standing up and pulling me back towad the couch. My day can't get much better. "And you're not a monster. You're just a little lost." I nod and sit back on the couch.

"I am a monster! I was messed up! Did you forget all the things I did to you and Jake?!" I cry. I hang my head down, and wish I jumped. I'll bet Clare hate having me here. She has such a kind heart, and even though she saved him, it probably means nothing.

Clare leaned forward and hugged me again. She released and I looked back down. I felt her soft hand on my chin and she lifted my head, so I would face her, "You're not a monster. Jake and you just didn't get along. He's just as guilty. He shouldn't have hurt you." She let go of me, but I kept my head up this time.

I became lost in her eyes, and remembered when Jake and I fought. I had been pouring sugar in Jake's gas tank, when Jake and Clare came out.. This hadn't been the first attempt to piss off Jake. I felt Jake stole Clare from me, so I was trying to make sure he suffered. We got into a fist fight, and Jake somehow had me on the ground, delivering punch after punch to my jaw.

Through my tears and swollen eyes, I could see Clare crying. She was yelling at Jake to get off me, and to stop fighting. I had 2 black eyes, countless bruises and broken ribs, though I never told Clare or Jake.

I didn't realize it, but I was still staring at Clare. I snapped back into reality and blinked several times. I realized she had asked me something. "What?" I asked, confused. "Do you need to spend the night?" she repeated.

"I don't want to be a bother." I said, hoping that she would insist. Hoping she would lead to me to a spare bedroom, and tuck me in. Hoping she would say everything was going to be okay. As if she read my mind, she said: "I insist. I'll go set up the guest room."

And for the first time that night, for the first time in weeks, I smiled. She smiled too and walked down the hall, and into the guest room. I noticed a picture frame on the coffee table. It wasn't facing me so I couldn't see the picture. I picked it up and turned it toward me.

A smirk came across my face when I saw it was a picture of me and Clare together. It was winter, and we both had beanies on. It was snowing outside, and I had his arm around her. We smiled at the camera. I noticed a snowflake caught onto Clare's eyelash. I stared at her eyes. Even in a picture, they were beautiful.

I looked up to see Clare staring down at the picture as well. I quickly put the frame back onto the table and stood up. I grabbed my mug from the coffee table and went to the kitchen to avoid her seeing me blush. I smiled the whole time washing the cup.

I came back to see Clare admiring the photo. I stood behind her watching her every move. She looked up and caught me staring. I quickly looked at my feet and blushed a deep crimson red.

She laughed and patted next to her, inviting me to sit down. I sat, and she turned to face me. She pulled her legs onto the couch and sat crossed leg. I took my shoes off and attempted the same. She giggled as I struggled to cross my legs in my tight pants. I smiled, and eventually crossed his legs-sorta.

She stopped laughing and looked at me seriously. I got the hint, and my smile faded too. "Can I ask you why you were going to jump?" she asked while staring into my eyes.

I knew that question was coming. I don't know what to say. I was going to jump because I missed you. He mentally groaned and started to speak, "I couldn't go on without-" I was cut off at the sound of the door open. Clare leaned back and glanced past the kitchen toward the front door.

"Jake?" she asked, sounding alarmed. My heart began pounding. He's going to kill me. I should've just jumped. To get it over with, now I have to face a long painful beating. "I forgot my-" He stopped and stared at me.

Anyone could see the anger boiling in Jake's eyes, and the fear growing in mine. "What is he doing here?" Jake spat, his attention now at Clare. "He's spending the night." Clare answered, trying to stay calm.

"So you're back with him? Makes sense, since you're hav-" Jake started, but was cut off by Clare "Jake, just shut up! It's my apartment! You chose to walk out on me and-and " she stuttered, "You chose to walk out on me, so you can't be here. Get your stuff and go." She said. "Give me the money back." He stated. I was beyond confused. What was going on? "Jake, please I can pay you back. I need that money." She begged.

"No, since you have sir emo to help you with-" He stopped, the laughed, "You haven't told him! You haven't told him about the-" Clare cut him off again, "Jake, shut up!" She screeched. I bit my lip. Jake looked over at Clare, "Fine. You can keep the money. I'll owe you for what I'm about to do." Clare was as confused as I was, "What are you gonna do?"

He answered her by charging toward me. He picked me up by my shirt and slammed me on the ground. Punch after punch. I just lay there and took it, as Jake was so much stronger. My vision blurred, and my head rolled back. Soon everything went black.

* * *

**Dun dunnn duunnn!**


	7. This Ship is Going Down

**'Cause this ship's going down**  
**All on account of the weather**  
**Though we'll drown**  
**There's no need to frown**  
**'Cause we're all going together**  
**And I won't say "Woe is me"**  
**As I disappear into the sea**  
**'Cause I'm in good company**  
**As we're all going together**

**-This Ship is Going Down, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

* * *

I opened my eyes and found myself on Clare's couch. I placed my hand on the table and tried to push to a sitting position, but dropped down when I felt a sharp pain in my arm. "Oooh" I groaned, rubbing my sore arm. I saw a cut on my arm, and noticed my shirt was off. I looked down at his body, and saw that my entire stomach and part of my chest was bruised. I sat up quickly and tried to ignore the pain.

I saw Clare walk into the room and smiled. "You're awake!" she cried and ran to my side. "Where's my shirt?" I weakly asked. "Your shirt had blood on it, so I put it in the wash." I nodded and looked down, feeling weak and useless.

"I'm really sorry. I couldn't get him off of you. He was too strong." she told me softly. "I'm fine." I responded, trying to ease her guilt. "How long was I out?" I asked, glancing over at her. "Its morning." she said looking down at the floor.

"Well, thanks for letting me stay. I'm going to get going." I said, hoping she would once again insist. "Can you stay?" She asked with a saddened look. "What? Y-You want me to stay?" I asked in disbelief. I didn't want to leave, but I bet she hates me. "I, uh, well you're here already. I assume it's a while to your place. Why don't you, uh, spend a few days. I could take care of you."

I lifted my eyebrows and gave her a puzzled look. She sighed, "I afraid Jake will come back. Can you stay here and protect me?" she asked. I laughed, "Me? Protect you from Jake? I can't. You saw him on me, I go down in one punch.". I really want to stay, but it wouldn't make a difference. I couldn't protect Clare from Jake if her life depended on it.

She put her hand on my lap, gripping my upper leg, and stroking his inner thigh with her thumb. My heart began pounding. Her touch was so soft and gentle, but exciting and luring at the same time. I wish I could lean in and kiss her. "I would feel safer." She said, staring into my eyes. I was almost too distracted by her touch to respond to the question. "Uh, yeah. I can stay for another night." I stuttered.

She leaned in and hugged me, surprisingly not hurting my bruises. I loved her hugs. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. I didn't want to let go. I wish I could hold onto her forever. She let go of me, so did I, not wanting to freak her out.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me. I smiled and nodded. While Clare was making breakfast, I found my shirt, and washed my face. Clare made pancakes, eggs, and bacon. After breakfast we watched T.V for a few hours.

"I should wash your cuts." Clare told me. "Uh, yeah, thanks." She returned with a first aid kit, and sat on the couch. I pulled my shirt off. "This may hurt a little bit." She warned holding up a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"I'm a big boy." I assured. "Oh. I was going to give you a sponge bath, but big boys can take their own baths." "What?! Now, let's not be hasty!" I cried. She laughed and put the last Band-Aid on my arm. "Thanks." I said reaching for my shirt. "Do you want to watch a movie on pay-per-view?" She asked. "I thought only Adam and I watched that kind of stuff." I teased. "Ew! I mean like a comedy or a horror!" She said, playfully glaring at me.

Horror? Perfect! She gets scared, and I comfort her. I smirked and said, "Horror is fine." Perhaps I'll kiss her? No, I was awful to her! I can't make a move like that. After Clare changed into her pajamas, we watched "Slaughter of the Lambs", and to my plan, she was scared. I held her and covered her eyes. It was too dark to notice, but I was smiling ear to ear. She turned and buried her face in my chest. "Scared?" I asked with a chuckle. She looked up and nodded. I pulled her closer, and held her tight.

When the movie was over, we watched some more TV, until she fell asleep on my shoulder. I turned the TV off, and started carrying her down the hall. I peeked into several rooms trying to figure out which one was hers. I figured it was the last one, considering it had Clare's clothes in it. I lay her on the bed and pulled the sheets over her body, "Goodnight, Clare." I whispered. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. I walked toward the door, then I heard her voice, "Eli, don't leave." She whispered. "I'll be on the couch." I said. "No, stay here."

I walked up to her and knelt by the bed, "The door is locked. He's not coming back." I reassured. "He has a spare key." She explained. She scooted over, and I lay next to her. "Hold me?" She asked. This took me by shock. She's practically flirting, "W-What?" I choked out. Smooth. "Never mind." She said quickly. "No, it's uh, I can." I said, wrapping my arms around her body. She nestles against my body.

OoO

I woke up when Clare ripped herself from my arms and ran out of the rooms. "Clare?" I stood up and ran after her. She was in the bathroom…throwing up? I stood and stared for a moment, then quickly bent down and pulled her hair back.

She sat up and wiped her mouth with a towel. "Are you okay?" I asked, flushing the toilet. She nodded. She stared at my arm, and I looked at it too. The cut was infected. "Come on, I'll wash your cuts." "You sure? You just threw up. I could probably manage." I said. She shook her head, "Don't worry about me. Come on."

"What's this scar from?" She asked when I took my shirt off. "It's uh, just from a, uh, from surgery." I stuttered. "Surgery? You never mentioned surgery." She pondered. "Well, we weren't together. It was when you and Jake were together." Please, just make the questions stop.

"Why did you need surgery?" She asked concerned. "You know, the usual..." I said slowly. She rolled her eyes, "Tell me!". I shook my head, "It's not important." "Awww." She feigned disappointment. "Fine! I'll tell you what happened if you give me something in return" I smirked.

"What were you thinking?" She asked cautiously. "Oh, you don't want to know what I'm thinking of." I teased. "You're gross. What do I have to do?"

I smirked. "Oh no, what are you thinking of?" She whined. "Well, you did a decent job cleaning my wounds, but I require additional cleaning." I explained with a wide smirk. "I'm lost." She said slowly. "Sponge baths are for big boys too." I said, struggling to keep a straight face.

"No! You can't be serious!" she cried. I just smiled. "You would have to wear a swim suit." she said slowly. I laughed, "You're actually serious? You'll really give me a sponge bath?" "If you tell me why you needed surgery."

"Deal." I agreed, We shook hands. "Oh! I have no swim trunks! I guess I'll have to wear my birthday suit..." I told her. "You can borrow one of Jake's. He hasn't moved everything out yet." I sighed and went to change in the bathroom. "Eli, I'm going to wear my swim suit, so I don't ruin my clothes!" She called from down the hall.

A smile came over my face. My life was really starting to look up. Clare caring enough to stop me from jumping was one thing, but now we're practically taking a bath together. "Eli, are you ready?" Clare called. An idea suddenly popped into my head. "Yeah!" I yelled.

I hid behind the door and waited for her to come in. She walked inside and I closed the door, ran forward and picked her up. "Eli! Put me down!" she yelled, trying to break free of my grip. "Can do, Edwards." I said and lowered her inside the large bathtub. She has a big circular whirlpool, big enough for the two of us.

I smiled and stared at her sitting in the bathtub. "This isn't what I agreed to." she said annoyed. I walked over and climbed into the tub with her. "You didn't specify." I said with my signature smirk. She splashed me with water and giggled.

I got caught in the trap of her eyes. Deep pools of blue that seemed to lure me to the edge. Like being on a cliff and staring into the water below. It reminded me of the bridge. I tried to get the memory out of my mind. If I had jumped, I wouldn't be here with Clare.

I started crying and breathing heavily. I closed my eyes and started rocking back and forth in the water.

I imagined myself back on the bridge. Standing on the railing. I felt water surround me. I imagined I jump. I tried to breathe, but swallowed water. I was drowning. I had somehow missed the rocks. I knew I was dying.

* * *

_**Please reveiw and favorite. :P**_

_**Love, **_

_** -NJCD**_


	8. 1 Fan

**You are the sea and the sky**  
**And i`m content to not know why**  
**You are so great, I am so plain**  
**I am that moth to your flame**  
**...Wish I was good enough for you**

**-#1 Fan, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

* * *

I imagined myself back on the bridge. Standing on the railing. I felt water surround me. I imagined I jump. I tried to breathe, but swallowed water. I was drowning. I had somehow missed the rocks. I knew I was dying.

I felt two hands pull me from the water and he was on land. I was still chocking on the water I swallowed, but sat up and coughed it out. I felt pressure on his chest, someone pushing, trying to get the remaining water out of me. A soft pair of lips go on top of mine and breathe for me. I coughed again and sat up. I couldn't forget the pair of lips. Her lips. So caring and gentle.

I came back to reality. I saw Clare holding him. I looked around and saw water on the floor and the bathtub in front of me. "Eli, are you okay?" she cried. "I'm uh, I'm fine." I said, still shaking from the experience. I felt a towel drape over my shoulders. Clare bent in front of me and wrapped the towel around better.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She questioned noticing the tears still forming. He nodded and looked down. "I'm going to get a mop." she said a walking out the door. I sat on the counter, still wrapped in the towel and cried.

Clare came in, started mopping, and drained the bathtub. She finished cleaning up, and led me onto the couch. She got a pair of Jake's pajamas and told me to change. I put on the pajamas and sat on the couch, head buried in my knees and sobbing.

I felt Clare sit next to me, "Eli, what happened?" I heard her ask. I looked up. "Clare, I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I pictured myself back o-on the bridge, I don't know what happened." I said and put my head back in my knees. I looked up again, "I do know you won't have to deal with it anymore. I'm leaving soon. I've put you through enough." I choked out.

"Eli, you can't-" she started "Oh yeah? Why not?! I'm a freak! I'm ruining your time. I almost drowned in a fucking bathtub!" I yelled. "That's why! I'm trying to help. If you can't take a bath by yourself, you shouldn't be on your own!" she cries. "I'm not your project."

"I know. You're not. You're my friend; I want you to be safe." She reasons, starting to cry herself. "I'm too much trouble. You don't realize how easy it would be for everyone if I just killed myself." I say coldly.

"Eli, please don't! You have so much ahead of you. I care about you." she tells me, holding back tears. "I have nothing, Clare, You had a great life. And I ruined it. I harassed you and Jake for months! All over a stupid grudge. All I do is hurt those around me. I deserve to die." I argue.

"Eli, you need to stay strong. You didn't ruin my life. Or Jake's. I wa-

"Jake hates me!" I yell

"No he doesn't! He's just mad you wrecked his car. He doesn't ha-"

"He does, Clare. If he didn't, I wouldn't have needed surgery! I would have 24 ribs instead of 21! I deserve to be hated, Clare. And I don't know why you forgave me. It makes no sense." I bury my head in my knees again.

She lifted my chin, "You're staying here, I'm going to nurse you back to health."

"Thanks

"Anything for an old friend."

"So, nurse me back to health, eh?" I asked with a smirk. She shot me a playful glare, "You know what I mean." "So what kind of nurse? The kinky kind?"

"The kind that makes you take a lot of medicine.", She said rolling her eyes. "How disappointing." I sighed. "I'm going to Ali's house, so you'll be here by yourself, okay?"

"The perfect opportunity to go through your pantie drawer." I teased

"You wouldn't."

"Clare. It's me, Eli. There's a short list of things I wouldn't do."

"You got me there. Hey, you never told me why you were going to jump."

I took a breath. I don't feel like explaining my feelings for her. I liked things the way are, not awkward. "I don't want to jinx you, but the last time I tried to tell you, I got jumped."

"He's not coming back."

"You don't know that." I highly doubt Jake would come back, but I am afraid to tell her why he was going to end it.

"Fine, but I'll get it out of you eventually."

I rolled his eyes, "Good luck, Edwards.". In reality, I'll probably spill before the end of the day. If she shows any form of begging, I'll crack. I can't resist her cuteness.

An awkward silence spread throughout the room. I sat there, wondering who would talk first.

"Technically we made out." I wiggled my eyebrows.

"What?" She raised her eyebrows and stared at me with pure confusion.

"I know that CPR wasn't just to save me. I felt tongue" I lied. "I felt the want, Clare, you practically threw yourself on me." I teased with a smirk.

"You wish."

"I do, and my wish came through. I bet you did other stuff to me. Clare, you nasty thing."

"You have a sick mind."

"Says the person who convinced me to take a bath with you!" I said. I loved driving her insane.

She rolled her eyes.

"Tell me why you were going to jump." She pleaded. "It's not important." I said glancing down.

"Eli, why are you being like this?" She cried.

"Like what?" I shot back.

"Stubborn. You won't tell me anything." She took my hand in her own.

"You won't tell me much either." I tried to change the subject.

She rolled her eyes, "You haven't asked anything.

"Why did you and Jake break up?" I asked, biting my lip.

"I told you, we fought a lot."

"What about?" I asked.

"Work, but mostly we disagreed about one thing." She said slowly.

"One thing?" I repeated.

"We just disagreed a lot. Nothing specific."

"Oh, okay."

"So, tell me why you we're going to jump."

"You're not going to drop this, are you?"

"Never."

"I was just missing the old days. And I couldn't handle stuff anymore."

"It could've gotten better."

"I didn't think it could at the time."

"Eli, we kinda need to talk."

"What about?"

"The reason Jake and I broke up."

"You don't need to tell me, it's not my business."

Clare shakes her head, "It is." She start crying, and falls into my arms. I hesitate but hold her.

"Clare, what is it?"

She looks up at me and our eyes meet, "I'm pregnant." I stare at her for a moment, confused, "What does that have to do with me?" I ask. She pushes away from me and screeches, "It's yours dummy!" My lips tremble, and I start to feel lightheaded, "I-It's mine? I'm going to be a dad?"

She nods. I shake my head in disbelief. "You're sure it's mine? It could be Jake's." I said. I didn't want to get excited and end up having a woodcutter kid. "I know it's yours. Jake and I never had sex." I don't say anything, just shake my head. "You don't want it!" She cries. "What? No! Clare, I never said that. I'm just surprised. I mean, we used a condom." I say.

"I know. I guess it broke?" She guesses. I nod. "That's why me and Jake broke up. I wouldn't get an abortion." "I can't believe we're going to be parents." She nods, and continues crying. I say. "Clare I-I think if we're having a kid together, that we should be together. And, I don't want you thinking I'm asking because I need to for the kid. Clare, I love you."

She hugs me, "I love you too." I lean back and kiss Clare. Something I haven't done in so long. She kisses back and wraps her arms around my neck. I pull away, "When do we tell our parents?" She shrugs. "So, you and Jake never, ever, had sex?" "No."

"Good. I guess once you have the best, why care about the rest?" She laughs, "I just never felt comfortable around him. Plus, at some times he was really violent. We just weren't meant to be." This took me by surprise, "Violent? He hit you?" "No, no. He never hit me. He was a little rough. He grabbed me once, and broke down the door, but he never hit me."

I place my hands on her stomach and press my ear against her. She giggles. "Why don't we tell my parents today?" She asks. I nod, "Yeah. Do you want to go now?" She nods, and we drive to her parent's house. On the way, she explains how her parents we're back together now. They had realized they really did like eachother.

When we get there, Clare tells them she has news. "Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant." She says. Her parents smile an hug her, "That's great! I knew you and Jake had a fine future together! But, why is Eli here?" I raise my eyebrows and look at Clare. "Eli is the dad. Jake and I broke up." Her parents exchange upset glances, "He's the father?" Her dad chokes out.

"You're having our grandchild with him?" Her mom scoffs. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I stood up and walked out of the room. On the way out, I saw Randal's wallet. I don't know why, but I took all his money, and shoved it deep into my pocket. I continued and slammed the door. I got into my hearse and cried.


	9. Beleive

**Did you find what you were looking for?**  
**And did you hear what you needed to hear?**  
**And did I serve you well, did I serve you well, **  
**Did I serve any purpose?**  
**Any one at all?  
-Believe, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

* * *

After 5 minutes, I started Morty and drove off. Clare can walk home or something. I got to the bar, where I used to get drunk every night. I walked in and and sat in front of Ernie, my favorite waiter. "What'll it be?" I rolled my eyes, "I tell you every night. Whiskey. Plain, strong, whiskey." He laughs and fills a glass. "What happened to your face?" He says, noticing my black eye.

"Long story. Get this, that girl, Clare, we're back together." I say, slamming my cup down, signaling for a refill. He pours more into the glass, "That's insane!" He cries. I shake my head, "No, no. That's not insane. You know what is?" I asked. Ernie shakes his head and refills my glass. "I'm gonna be a dad"

Ernie smiles, "That's awesome! Hey, this is all on the house!" I nod, "Thanks man." Ernie refills my glass, then hands me the whole bottle. "But wait, you only come here when you're upset. Which is always, but you're gonna be a dad! What's the problem?" I sigh, "Her parents hate me."

After a day of a pointless drunk discussions, I decide to go back home. "Eli! Eli, you're drunk! You can't drive!" Ernie yells at me. I ignore him and start driving. I almost hit 2 people, but make it home safe. I get home and sneak I, hoping Clare won't hear me. If she's home. I tiptoe in, but knock over a lamp, causing the light bulb to shatter.

"Eli?" Clare walks in the front room. What do I do? Then I had a brilliant idea. "You're dreaming, Clare. Go back to bed." I waved my hands around and hope she buys it. "You're drunk." She says, sounding disappointed. _Dangit, didn't work._ "You're mad." I say. "You just left me at my parents house! I had to catch a cab home. I understand why you were pissed, but you don't answer my calls all day, then come home drunk!" She screams.

I step towards her and hold her shoulders,"I'm sorry." I lean in to kiss her, but she pushed back in disgust, "How drunk are you? You smell awful!" I sigh. My hand finds its way to Clare's and I lay her on the couch. She struggled, but I climbed on top of her and started sucking on her neck. "Eli, stop it." I ignored her and planted soft kisses, while nibbling on her skin.

She struggled, but eventually gave up, exhausted from fighting me. She trailed her hand down my chest and to my jeans. I felt her hand floating over my crotch. I smile in anticipation, and she placed her hand. I don't care if she was touching me through my jeans, it still felt good. Suddenly she squeezed hard and I cried out.

Clare pushed me off and fled down the hall leaving me holding myself, and crying at the pain. I sighed and lay on the couch, drifting to sleep. I woke up to the sound of Clare throwing up. I ran to the restroom and held her as she did so. She pulled away from the toilet, "Leave me alone, Eli." "Clare, I know you're mad. But I was drunk." She tried to argue, but ended up blowing chucks in the toilet.

When she finished I carried her and lay her on the couch. I got her water to drink and she asked for mints. I fetched those too and rubbed her back. "I'm going to get something to drink." I muttered. I made my way to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. I sat back down on the couch, but before I could take a sip, Clare grabbed the bottle from me. "Hey!" I yelled.

"You drink too much." She stated. "I do not." I argued, even though she was probably right. "Eli, you're drunk almost every day!" She cried. "So?" "So? You get violent when you drink. And I don't want our kid growing up with an alcoholic father." I rolled my eyes and tried wrestling the bottle from Clare. She hid the bottle behind her back as I struggled to grab it.

She pulled out the bottle, only to throw it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, the liquor spilling all over the floor. I ran over to the bottle and stared at the contests soaked into the carpet. "What the hell did you do?!" I screamed. "You have a problem, Eli." She said. My nostrils flared as I turned to see Clare standing there.

I shook my head, "I don't have a problem." I growled. She walked up and placed her hand on my arm. I pulled away, "Don't touch me." I said. She ignored me and wrapped her arms tightly around my body. I hugged her back, "Try to stop." She whispered. I didn't say anything. We pulled away only to embrace in a kiss.

I moved to the couch and pulled her toward me and and wrapped my arms around her. "Have you told Adam yet?" I glanced at her, "Told Adam what?" "That I'm pregnant!" She cries. I shake my head, "We don't talk anymore." I mutter beneath my breath. Clare gaps in disbelief, "You and Adam don't talk? Why not?" "We grew apart." I lied. "You're lying, you guys could never grow apart."

"He stopped hanging out with me when I was caught up in the whole Jake revenge situation." She nodded, "You should call him." I ignored her and changed the subject, "Have you came up with any names? Or preferences; boy or girl?" "Not really, you?" I shake my head.

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna run to the store, pick up stuff for dinner, okay?" I ask. "Do you want me to come with you?" "No!" I yell too fast. "Er, I mean, you should rest. Let me take care of it." She nods, confused. I kiss her forehead and make my way to the door. Once I'm outside, I cry. I love Clare, and I'm ecstatic about having her back, but I need my drinks. I'll get some from the store.

-At the Store-

I stroll up and down the aisles. I guess I'll get tacos for dinner. What do pregnant women like? I reach for my phone and call Clare.

"Hey, what do you want for dinner?"

"I don't know. Hey, while you're out, you should go get some stuff from your place."

"Alright, see you soon."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

I hang up and gather ingredients for tacos. Now, I'm in the alcohol section. I look at all the drinks, trying to decide which one to buy. I get 2 bottles of whiskey and a bottle of vodka. I scoot past a lady, who's also looking at drinks, and get to the register. Finally, I'm driving to my place. I guess I'll get some clothes. My laptop, too. If I have any drinks at my house, maybe I'll bring them too.

-Driving back to Clare's-

I grabbed my laptop, some clothes, and the rest of my drinks. I park next to Clare's car, and bury the drinks in my clothes. I carry everything up the stairs, and open the door. "Eli?" She calls. "Yeah, I'm gonna start dinner." I start to unwrap the clothes, to hide the whiskey in the cupboard, when I feel Clare's arms wrap around me. I nearly jump out of my skin. Quickly I push the pile of clothes away and turn around. "You scared me." I say. "Sorry." I kiss her.

"What's for dinner?" I pull out the tacos and show them to her. "Do you need help?" I shake my head, "You rest." She kisses my cheek and walks back to the living room. I hear the TV turn on. I unwrap the clothes and pull the liquor out. I hide all the drinks behind the stuff in the cupboard.

-After Dinner-

"The tacos were good." Clare comments. I nod my head. I just want a drink. "You okay?" She asks. I rub my eyes, "What?" "Are you okay?" I nod, "Don't worry, I'm fine." She gathers the dishes and goes to wash them. I lay down on the couch, tired. "Eli, get in here!"

I stand up and make my way to the kitchen. Clare's holding the bottles of liquor. I don't say anything, just stand there. "Do you want to explain yourself?" She asks. I roll my eyes, "I'm old enough to have a drink. You're not the boss of me." I reach for a bottle, but she smacks my hand away.

"You can't be drunk all the time."

"You're not my mom."

"I'm not, but I'm sure she'd love to hear about her alcoholic son."

"Don't you dare threaten me."

"Whatever, Eli. Do what you want. I don't care." She pushes the bottles in my hand and storms out of the room. I sigh loudly, and sit on the floor. "Dammit." I curse. I hold my breath, trying not to lose it. I stand up, ripping a few drawers open before I find what I'm looking for.

I pull a knife out and slowly cut my wrist. I flinch at the pain, but ignore it. I stare at the red line. With my other arm, I grab one of the bottles and open it. I stare at my cut, then pour the bottle down the sink. I cut myself again, and pour another bottle, until they're all gone. I watch as my blood drips into the sink. I don't even care.

After closing the drawers, wiping the sink, and putting a long sleeved shirt on, I make my way to Clare's room. The door's closed. I knock, only to be returned with an angry voice, "Go away, Eli." I try the door, but it's locked, too. "Clare, unlock the door." She doesn't answer. "Please?" Still, no reply.

I go into the living room and dig through through a drawer, until I find a paperclip. I tiptoe down the hall, and tug the paperclip into a hook. After a few minutes of fiddling, I hear a click. I push the door open, and Clare looks up, shocked. "How did you…" Her voice trails off. I hold up the paper clip. She rolls her eyes, "Leave me alone."

"Clare." I drag her voice out, whining. "What do you want?" I sit down next to her and try to take her hand in mine, but she pulls away. I sigh and lay down, facing the other way. I hear the click of a lamp and darkness falls over the room.

"Clare, come on. Stop giving me the cold shoulder?" No response. "Clare, I got rid of the drinks." She sits up, "Really?" I nod. She hugs me, then pulls back, and smells my breath. I roll my eyes, "I poured it down the sink." She nods. "Clare, can we just- I don't want to fight." "Me neither, but please stop drinking." "Okay. I will." "Really?" I smile and nod. She leans forward and kisses me. I kiss her back, then lay her on the bed. I kiss her on the forehead, "Goodnight."

"Aren't you hot in that sweater?" She asks, trying to tug it off. I pull her hands away, "I'm fine." She sticks out her bottom lip, "Come on, I like your body." I shook my head, "I'll take my pants off." She gives me a look, and it takes her a moment to realize I'm kidding. Sort of… She attempts to take off my shirt again.

"I'll take my shirt off if you take yours off." I tease. "Deal." I look at Clare as she pulls her shirt up. "Clare, I-I was, I was, uh, nevermind." Her shirt is fully off. I stare at her chest, but am interrupted by her voice. "Your turn." I blink out of my daze and slowly take my shirt off. Once it's off I lay down quickly, trying to hide my arm.

"Why is it that you're shyer then I am?" She asked. I shrugged and wrapped my arms around her. We slowly drifted to sleep.


	10. Riding a Black Unicorn

**So tonight, we're riding our black unicorns**  
**Down the side of an erupting volcano**  
**And we drink, drink, drink**  
**From a chalice filled **  
**With the laughter of small children**  
**And the blood and tears of our enemies**

**_-Riding a Black Unicorn Down the Side of an Erupting Volcano While Drinking from a Chalice Filled with the Laughter of Small Children, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez_**

* * *

I woke up and smiled at Clare. She was resting peacefully, still shirtless. I sighed, amazed at how beautiful she was. I wonder what Clare would think if she knew I cut. "Mmm, Eli?" I look over my shoulder and see Clare sitting up, "Hey, Babe." She looks at me, then realizes she's shirtless, too. She gasps and pulls the covers over herself.

I chuckle, " A little self-conscious?" "Eli, did we…" I smirk, knowing what she's thinking. "Did we what, my darling?" She bites her lip, and blushes, "Did we, uh, do it last night?" I continue to play with her, "Did we do what?" "Eli!" She whines, dragging my voice. "No, we didn't. If we did, I think you would've remembered. I mean, I'm hard to forget." I lean closer, and whisper huskily in her ear, "Especially in bed."

She blushes harder than ever. "Do I turn you on, Edwards?" I whisper again. "M-Maybe…" I begin sucking on her neck. "Eli, n-not now." She says, already under my trance. "Why not? You're already shirtless." I mutter gently, while moving a little lower. She sighs contently and slowly lays back down, letting my mouth roam her body. I slide my hands under the sheet and hold her waist, "What do you want me to do to you, Babe?"

She shudders, "N-Not now Eli. I have morning breath." I kiss her on the lips and stick my tongues deep into her mouth, then pull away, "I don't mind." She bites her lip and sits up, "I need to shower. Wanna join?" I smiles and lift her up bridal style, "Of course, my love." I set her down in the bathroom and back her up against the door, "You're so sexy when you're shirtless." She blushes and slips out from under my arm, "Let's shower."

Clare's POV:

We undress and climb into the shower. The water spills out and stun us with it's coldness. I wrap my arms around Eli and step out of the water's way. I check to see if it's warm every few seconds, and when it is, Eli begins washing his hair.  
I stare at Eli in lust. At his chest, his back, his hair, his face and his arms. Then I see them. Several deep cuts carved into his wrist. I grab his arm and look at all of them. He rips his arm away and covers the cuts with his other hand.

"Why?" I whisper. He doesn't answer, just turns away. Eli climbs out of the shower and starts to dry off. "Eli, talk to me." I say, turning off the water. "I need to go to work." He wraps the towel around his waist and hurry out of the room. I wrap a towel around my self and follow after him. He's digging threw his suitcases and finds his work clothes. "You never told me where you work." I say, hoping I can start a conversation.

"The movie theater." He says. He finds his uniform and starts to dress. He finishes dressing and walks past me. I go after him and block his way. "I have to go to work." He says, trying to move past me. I put my hands around his neck and kiss him, "Have a good day back at work. I'll see you soon." He nods and heads to the door. I run to him again and hug him tightly. He hugs me back after a moment, then kisses my forehead and turns out the door. I go back to my room and pull out my phone.

My mom called last night, after I'd gone to bed. I dialed her number and waited for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom, you called?"

"Yes honey. I know it's late, but I wanted to apologize to you and Eli. Your father and I were too quick to judge. Maybe you guys should come over for dinner. We could discuss baby names." She squealed.

I laughed, "Listen Mom, I'd love to come over but were having some troubles at home. We just need to figure things out."

"Are you and Eli fighting?" She asks.

"No. He's just been under a lot of stress, I think. He took a few days off work and is going back today."

"What about you? You aren't working, are you? A pregnant lady shouldn't work."

I smile, "I don't know. We need the money, but I've been feeling really sick lately."

"That's normal. So, how is it? Being back with Eli?"

"It's different. I love him, and it's amazing to be with him, but..."

"But what, dear?"

"I don't know. He's been so stressed out. So down lately."

"Have you considered therapy?"

I bite my lip, "I don't think so. It's not Eli. He likes to be independent."

"But is he independent?" She asks, "Maybe he needs it."

"No, I don't know. He wouldn't want it."

"Make sure to ask him okay, Clare?"

"Okay, Mom. I'll talk to you later."

I put down the phone and lay down. Tears stream down my face as I think about Eli's wrist. I know therapy would benefit him, but, like I said, it wasn't Eli.

-10 hours later-

I've thrown up 3 times today. Right now, I'm sitting in the bathroom, puking for the 4th time. The thick, sour liquid splashes in the toilet bowl. I hear the front door open and close and within seconds, Eli's next to me, holding my hair up. "I'm here, Babe. I'm here, Babe." He said. I finished emptying my stomach and was dry-heaving. Eli pulled me away from the bowl and wrapped his arms around me, "Come on, let's clean you up." He climbed to his feet and helped me up.

After flushing the toilet and washing my face, Eli led me to bed. "I'm going to shower now. Will you be okay?" I nod and kiss Eli before he leaves for the bathroom. I close my eyes and go over ways to suggest ways to start therapy:

'Eli, I thought maybe you should start therapy...'

'Eli, I've been thinking. You've been under stress and I think you should see someone'

I start to think of another, but Eli comes in. I open my eyes and see he's only wearing boxers. "Eli, can we talk?" He looks down at me, "I guess..."I sit up and cross my legs, "I think you've been under a lot of stress lately and you've been hurting yourself." Eli immediately covered his arm and looked troubled, "What's this all about, Clare?" I take his hands in mine and bite my lip, "I think that you should consider, umm, therapy."

He furrows his brows, "Why? I don't need therapy, Clare. I'm fine." He turns away and walks out of the room. I hold back tears and follow him, "Eli." He continues walking down the hall. "Eli, come here!" I grab him arm and turn him around, "If you won't talk to a therapist, you will sure as hell talk to me!" I yelled. He raises his eyebrows at my sudden courage. "Sit down." I command. I pull him to the floor and sit across from him.

"Please. Talk to me." I beg. "I'm just adjusting. It'll pass." He promises. "What if it doesn't? What if nothing gets better? We're not ready for a child! I'm not saying that I don't want this baby, but if nothing gets better, I don't see how anything will work. You're cutting yourself. We don't talk enough. We can't afford a baby off of your salary!" Eli bit his lip, "Stop. Just stop. I will get a real job soon, but I need to find one. Me cutting myself will not affect the baby. Stop. Okay? Don't be like this. Don't act like your all courageous. You're not. You are not. Things will work out but you have to be patient. We have, like, 5 months to figure things out, so calm down. Let me handle this stuff and you just work on being pregnant. Now, I'm going to make some food. What do you want?"

I shake my head, stand up, trying to hold back tears, and run to the guest room. "Clare!" Eli calls. I ignore him, slam the door, jump on the bed and let the tears flow. The door opens and Eli comes in, "Clare, I didn't mean to sound so ha-" "Go away! Just leave me alone!" I scream. He doesn't move for a moment then backs out of the room and closes the door.

-The Next Day-

After a day of encased feelings, Eli had finally gotten home from work. He was an hour later then he should be and the dinner Clare had made was cold. He walked through the door, set his bag down and could immediately hear Clare's sobbing. "Clare?" He asked. He walked through the house, following the cries to the bathroom.

Hesitantly, he opened the bathroom door and sat by Clare, who was sitting on the floor, head buried in knees. "Clare? Do you want to-or, no. Let's talk." He said. She shook her head, "Go away, Eli." He picked her up and carried her to the bed, "Stay here." He retrieved the bag from the living room and returned to Clare.

"I know I've been a bad boyfriend, but I'm making it up tonight." He set the bag down and kissed her gently. "Eli, w-what are-" She was cut off by Eli's lips smashing against hers. Clare moved her lips in sync with his. Once Eli was sure Clare was getting into it, he pulled away and grabbed the bag.

He pulled out a bottle of some sort of cream and squeezed some onto his hand. "Is that face mask?" She asked. He blushed, "Yeah." And warmed it in his hand before spreading it on Clare's cheeks, forehead, nose and chin. She sighed in contentment as Eli got out more lotion, undressed Clare down to her underwear and massaged her body.

After an hour of massaging her, Eli told her to wait there and begin to fill the bathtub with hot water and bath salts. He retrieved Clare and carried her to the bathroom. He removed her underwear and helped her into the tub before following in turn. "This is so amazing, Eli." She purred, leaning against him. He got out some scented soap and rubbed it against her back and face, washing away the lotions.

"I was wondering if you wanted to fool around afterwards. Relieve some tension." He whispered huskily in her ear.

Eli's POV:

I placed my hands on Clare's shoulders and massaged them gently, "Does this feel good?" I murmured. "Yeah. Yeah, it does." I slide my hands around her waist and handle her breast, "Does this?" She moans, "Just fuck me, Eli." I smirk, "Everytime we take a bath, you wanna 'fuck'." I said, "Sorry, Clare. I'm not going to 'fuck' you. I'm going to make love to you." I told her.

"Eli, do whatever. Just do me." She commanded. I laughed, "Let's dry you off first" I climbed out of the bathtub and held my hand out for Clare. She took it and allowed me to dry her off. After drying each other off, I picked Clare up and carried her to the bedroom.

"I love you so, so much. And I...I hate that I always hurt you." I whispered. I felt hot tears form in my eyes. "It's okay, Eli." I shake my head, "No. I'm sorry. I scheduled a-a-a therapist appointment like you wanted." She smiled, "That's great, Eli. That's really great."

"All the bad stuff I did to you...I'm making up for it now. Things are going to change. I promise. Everything will get better. Together, we will-" "Umm, Eli?" Clare interrupted. "Yeah?" She smiled, "What your saying means a lot. But, its hard to take it seriously when you're...at the edge of my bed...naked...with a boner."

I looked down, shocked, that Clare was right. "Oh..." I muttered, blushing darkly. She was giggling, "Make love to me, Eli." She pleaded. I smirked, "You wish, Clare-Bear, but our night isn't over yet." I stood up and ran to the bathroom, retrieving the bag. I pulled out 2 wine glasses and a bottle of champagne.

"You're going to drink?" She asked. I shrugged, "If you don't want me to, I won't." "I just don't want you to start again. Maybe this one time..." I smirked, "Your choice, Babe. We can get wasted out of our minds and make hot, drunk love. Or we could make normal love that you'll remember. Or, I could get you wasted as possible and make you scream my name as drunk as you are."

She smiled, "I like the third option." "Good choice, My Love." I put one of the glasses away and poured some champagne in the remaining glass. She sat up and took the glass. Hesitantly, she raised it to her lips and drank a little. He face immediately scrunched up, "This is awful!" She cried. I laughed, "It'll get better." She sipped a little more before chugging the entire glass.

I poured some more. She drank some more. this went on until the bottle was empty. Clare was laughing, "Eli, make love to me!"She cried. I smirked, "You are so wasted, Babe." "So, what you going to d-d-do about it, Eli" She dragged my name out for at least a minute. I managed to quiet her by pressing my lips to hers. She forced her tongue into my mouth. I laughed at how feisty Drunk-Clare was. I could taste the alcohol that coated her mouth.

She pulled me on top of her. Our already exposed bodies rubbed against each other. "I love you, Clare." I murmured against her lips. I planted loving kisses all over her body. She giggle hysterically, "This is the be-best night e-e-eve- Oh Eli!" She screamed. I had started to lick her twat.

I came back up and kissed her mouth, "Ready, Babe?" She nodded. I guided my hard member with my hand and pushed it into her wet hole. She clawed at my back, "W-Wow. This feels so insane." She says. I smirk and begin pumping in and out of her. She moaned. We finished soon. Clare came before I did.

We lay side by side. "You're really going to see a therapist?" Clare asked. "Two. One for me and one for, like, us. Like marriage counseling." "We're not married, though." Clare frowned. I sat up, naked, and reached into the bag. Inside was a box with an engagement ring. "I got you this, Clare. I want you to marry me. I want-" "Yes, yes, a million times yes!" She cried.

"No, Clare. You're drunk." "What?" She asked, sounding hurt. "I want to marry you. But I don't want you to promise anything when your drunk." She sat up and pressed her lips to mine, "Eli," She dragged my name out, "I'm pregnant with your baby! We have to get married!"

"I don't want the fact that your pregnant to effect your choice. Or the fact that your drunk. I'm going to ask you when your sober." She sighed and kissed me, "Okie-dokie Elijah Goldsworthy." I laughed and kissed her, "Okie-dokie Clare Edwards."

* * *

Hehehe. Drunk Clare...Hehehe.


	11. All Women Are Crazy

**_"-Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!-"_**

**-All Women Are Crazy, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**

* * *

-The Next Day-

Clare's POV:

I sat up from bed. My head was pounding and my body was sore. Eli wasn't next to me. Last night is a total blur. I wrapped our thin, black sheet around me and stumbled into the kitchen. The sun was setting outside, I could see. It was almost night; I had slept all day.

I walked to the living room and looked out the window. Eli was just pulling up. I sat on the couch and laid down, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. The door swings open and Eli walks in with his head bowed. "Eli?" He looks up, "Hey, Clare." He says weakly.

He has a look of shame on his face. His eyes are bloodshot and he's shaking. I stand up and walk over to him, "Are you okay?" He avoids looking me in the eye, "Yeah. Just a long day, I guess." He gives me a fake smile, looking into my eyes for a second. He glanced down and reached into his pocket, "Here." He hands me a bundle of bills, "We can go into town tomorrow and choose stuff out for the babies room." I flip through the bills, most of them are hundreds.

"Eli...where'd you get this?" I asked. "I got a different job." He said. "Doing what?" He shifts uncomfortably, "What I need to do to support us. Just a job in town." I nod, "Do you wan-should I make something to eat?" He nods, "I'm going to shower." He walks away into the bathroom. I immediately hear him throwing up. I run to him, confused. Usually, I'm the one throwing up.

He's knelt over the toilet spewing everything out, then dry heaving. "Eli...?" I whisper. I sit down and pull his hair out of his face. He sits up, "I-I'm fine, really." I nod, "Can I shower with you?" He looks down, "I'm sorry, I just need to be alone." I nod, "Okay. I'll make something." "Why don't you order pizza? With the money?" He suggests. I smile, "Okay. I'll do that."

I walk out and call Pizza Hut. They said the pizza would be here in 30 minutes. I count the money. There's over $1000. I sit down and rub my stomach, "We're gonna make you an amazing room." I whisper to the unborn child. I turn on the T.V and start to watch the first Ice Age movie.

I'm around 25 minutes into the movie when the doorbell rings. I answer it, pay for the pizza and sit down to eat. I stop when I realize Eli's still in the shower. I walk up to the door and knock, "Eli?" "Y-Yeah?" He says, oblivious to how obvious it is he's crying. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. I just-I'll, uh, be out in a second."

"Okay." I sit down. It takes Eli 10 minutes to come out and another 5 to get dressed. He comes in, his skin red from the shower. He sits down next to me, "What kind of pizza?" He asks. I open the box to reveal a meat lovers pizza. "My favorite." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

He eats 2 pieces, "Did you have fun last night?" He asks. "Yeah...from what I remember. I shouldn't have drank." I muttered playfully. "Do you remember what I asked you?" I shook my head. He sighs, "You're right." He smirks weakly, "You shouldn't have drank. Next time, I'm keeping you sober."

"What did you ask me?" He shrugged, "Something stupid." I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Tell me, Dr. Doom." He chuckled darkly, "Dr. Doom reveals nothing!" I laugh, "Alright, Dr Doom. Ready for bed?" He nods and starts to put away the pizza. I wait for him and walk with him to the bedroom.

I plop down on the bed, while Eli slowly lies on the bed, but cringes and flips over on his stomach. "Eli, are you okay?" He nods, "I'm fine." He turns his head and buries it in the pillow. "Okay. Goodnight." I whisper. "Clare?" I turns to see him facing me, "Yeah?" "I-I really love you. I'm in love with you." I smile, "I'm in love with you, too."

"No, I'm not finished. I'm in love with you. It's just, I make horrible decisions, but I need you to understand why. I-I try to get what you need. What this family needs. I'm trying so, so hard. But it's never good enough." "It is, Eli. You're perfect." I whisper. "I'm really not."He mutters and turns away.

I sigh and wrap my arms around him, "You're the most perfect man ever." He turns to me, "You're the most perfect women ever." He whispers, pressing his lips against mine. We lay cuddling each other until we fell asleep.

-The Next Day-  
-7:00am-  
Eli's POV:

I walked inside our house. Long night. Taking a recommendation from someone I met, I went out last night to work. I worked for 7 hours and made over $2500. I walked straight to the kitchen, pulled out the first knife I saw and dragged it across my wrist harder than ever. Blood gushed out and splattered against the floor. I dropped the knife and scrambled to get a cloth, realizing I'd cut way too deep this time.

I pressed a dishrag hard against my arm and sunk to the floor. The once white rag was now red. After a couple of minutes the bleeding reduced enough for me to go to the bathroom and wrap it in gauze and ace bandages. I grabbed a handful of towels and started to wipe the floor in the kitchen.

Then, I heard pounding footsteps and a sick, heaving noise. I quickly finished wiping up the blood, stuff the towels I used into a white trash bag and rush to Clare, "Shh." I mutter rubbing her back. I wet a dishcloth and wipe Clare's mouth when she's done. "Go to bed." I said, "I have some things to take care of." She nods and I rush out before she can see my bandaged arm.

I quickly throw on a long-sleeved sweat shirt and pull the money out of my pocket. Over $2000. I shudder at what I went through to get it. I head back to the kitchen and drag the garbage can outside. I walk back in and mop the floor to get the sticky feeling away. I throw the mop to the ground for no reason. I makes a loud crash.

"Eli?"

Clare runs out and sees me hunched over the counter. "Are you okay?" She whispers. I look up. Tears stain my face. I nod anyways, "Come on. Were going out." I wrap my arm around her waist and lead her to her bedroom. I start digging through her closet and pull out a sundress, "Here, this is cute." She smiles and puts it on. Inching my hand forward, i grabbed her butt.

She yelped and turned around, "Eli!"She cried. I laughed, "Come on, let's roll." She giggles and follows me. Once were in the car, I start off towards town. "Eli?" I hummed shortly in response. "Where'd you go last night?" I turned and looked at her quickly before fixing my eyes back on the road, "I, uh, I was working."

"Where?" I sigh, "Town." We don't say anything else. I pull into Walmart. I jump out and rush to Clare's side, before she can open her door, and swing it open, "Come on, Sexy." I hold my hand out for her. She smiles and takes my hand, " How polite." I laugh, "You know it." We walk across the parking lot and inot the store.

Clare drags me to the baby section and starts looking a cribs. I walk over to a round crib, standing out from all the others. I run my hand over the smooth wood, and feel this cuishened matress.

After looking at about every baby item there was, Clare and I were finally leaving the store, pushing a cart piled high with stuff. Once at the car, Clare and I loaded everything into the hearse. "We have a doctor's appointment. A ultrasound." I informed Clare. "Really? When? Today? We get to find out the gender, don't we? This is so exciting!" She cried. I laughed,  
"Now, actually. We're sorta gonna be late. Come on, get in." I put the last box in, diapers, and climb in the driver's seat.

We speed to Kaiser and I walk Clare inside. After waiting ten minutes, the doctor sees us. After brefing us on what he's going to do, the doctor puts gel on Clare's stomach and a black and white image appears on the screen. I look away. "Eli, look!" Clare cries. I look at the moving blob and make a face.

Clare's staring at it adoringly. "What is it?" I ask. "It's your baby." The doctors says, chuckling I raise my eyebrows, "I mean what gender?" After examining the screen, taking pictures and printing stuff out, the doctor concludes the gender: "It's a boy." I nod proudly. Clare squeals.

After checking a few more things, the doctor asks us, "When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?" "Last night." I mutter. Clare turns to me, "What? No, it wasn't last night, Eli." The doctor and Clare are both staring at me. "Define...sexual intercourse." Clare's looking at me real upset-like. "Sexual intercourse with each other. Do I need to go on?"

I shake my head, "Uh, w-with each other...like, 2 nights ago. Yeah that sounds right. We were having a fun night, Clare had some champagne...and we had, um, sex." "You were drinking, Ms. Edwards?" She nods, still glaring at me. "No drinking while your pregnant." She nods, "It won't happen again." He checks a few more things on his clip board and dismisses us.

Once were in the parking lot, Clare smacks my shoulder, "What do you mean 'with each other'?" She demands. "Nothing, Clare!" I defend. "Did-Did you cheat on me?" She whispers. Tears are forming in her eyes. "I-It wasn't like that." I respond. "Then what was it like?" She asks. "Nothing! Can we just go home?" I ask, continuing to walk towards the car. She grabs my arm, "What do you do at night?" She cries.

I rip my arm away, "I do what I need to do to support us." "What the hell does that mean?! Stop being so damn cryptic!" She screams. I turn around and get in her face, "Maybe that's all I have! You can't know everything about me, Clare!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asks. "I-If we know everything about each other, they'll be no excitement And you'll leave me." I whisper. She shakes her head, "Eli...stop trying to get out of this! Did you or did you not cheat on me?!" I raise my eyebrows, "I-I-I-" She snatches the ultra sound photos from me and turns away, walking away. "Clare!" I run after her, "Where are you going?"

She turns around, "Don't you even dare follow me. Stay away from me. I'm going to a friends. I need time." She says. On cue, it begins to drizzle. "It's not what you think..." I conjure. "Save it." I sigh, "At least let me drive you there. I'm not letting you take the bus or something." "Fuck off, Eli." She mutters. "Whatever." I say, and go back to the car. I climb in and start driving home. I see Clare up ahead. By now, it's raining a lot harder. I pull up beside her, "Get in." I call.

She reluctantly climbs in, but doesn't talk to me. "Clare?" I ask. She ignores me. "I didn't...I didn't cheat on you. I would never do that. We-we needed the money, and I found a good way to get it." I choked out. "By having sex with random women?" She scoffed. I felt tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall, "It's not what you think. Do you realize how hard it is for a guy like me to be with a girl like you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" "You're perfect. You're beautiful. And...just look at me. And, I'm trying to be better. To be good for you. But it's hard. And they're are so, so many guys out there who would be so, so much better for you. And I know you could get any guy you want. But, for some reason, you chose me. And that's a huge mistake. And I-I can't let you do that. I can't have you be with someone like me."

She turns to me, "What do you mean?" "I'm not good enough for you." I explain. "Are you b-b-breaking up with me?" She asks. "I just don't see us going anywhere good together." I pull into our parking space and put the parking break on. I pull the key out and lean back in my seat. "You can't just say that!" She says though gritted teeth, "You can't just...you can't..." She stutters.

"I can't put you through this anymore. All I do is make you cry." She shakes her head, "That-that's not true..." I catch one on her tears on my thumb, "See?" "I thought you loved me." She spat. "I do! That's why I can't let you go through this anymore! Don't you see? I'm bad for you!" She sniffles, "S-So we're...we're over? You're really breaking up with me?"

"Just think of it as a break, okay? We're just on a break." She closes her eyes and musters out the rest of her tears, "Why? Why can't we be together? I don't care about what you did at night, as long as it's over. I need you." "You're just saying that." I mutter. "I'm not. I love you, Eli." I shake my head, "I'm not good for you." She moves closer to me and rest her head on my shoulder, "Don't leave me." She begged.

I bite my lip, "It's just a break. I'm going to stay with someone...or you can. No, I'll go. Just a break." She doesn't answer. "I'm going to get my things together. I'm going to find somewhere to stay. With Adam, maybe." She shakes her head and pulls away, "I don't believe this... You just suddenly decide to 'take a break'. I can't...you tried so hard to get me back and now..." A sudden realization comes across her face, "You don't want the baby!" She accuses. I gap at her, "Wha-"

"You don't want to be a dad!" She cries. I grab her shoulders, "Will you listen to yourself? I want this child and you more then anything! We just need a break. And I can't believe I'm saying this either." She unbuckles her seatbelt and starts to get out. Before she does, she turns to me, "I hate you. And-And I guess you hate me, too; you're leaving."

* * *

**:3...yeah...**

**-NJCD**


	12. I'm Sorry

**All's black and white when you're just a baby**  
**You get some hair on your chin**  
**you think you know everything**  
**Years go by then everything's "maybe"**  
**and all that you believe**  
**Drowns in a sea of gray**

_**I'm Sorry, Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez**_

* * *

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" I asked. I'd been staying at Adam's for about a week. Adam sighed, "No, Eli, I don't. You just left your pregnant girlfriend!" He exasperated. "But...but I needed a break..." I whispered. Adam paused our video game, "Dude. That would be fine...if she wasn't pregnant. I'm sorry, man. It's just...she throws up...a lot. And she needs you." I blew air out my nose, "Nobody fucking is hearing me..."

"What?" I stood up, "Never mind. I'll go home." I started grabbing my clothes and shoved them into my backpack. "Eli..." Adam mutters. "Shut up! Apparently, doing what i don't want to is the right thing, so I'll just fucking do it!" I swung open the door and slammed it behind me, storming to my hearse.

I sped home, receiving several calls from Adam. I sit in my car for a while before I go inside. "Clare!" I call. No respond. I walk threw the house, not finding her anywhere. "Clare..." I mutter. I pull out my phone and call her. She answers, "Hello?" "Hey..." I say, "Where are you? Your-Your car's here..."

"Hello, Elijah!" She sings, merrily. I knit my eyebrows. "Umm, hi, Clare... Where are you?" She giggles, "Are you at the house, Elijah? Are you looking for me?" I sigh, "Yeah...Yeah, I wanted to talk about us." "There's nothing to talk about, silly!"

"Is that Eli?" I hear someone say in the background. "Of course it's Elijah!" She says. "Clare, what do you mean? W-We need to talk about us. Where are you?" She giggles strangely, "Oh, Elijah, you're so clueless!"

"Clare. Clare, hand me the phone." I hear. Clare and the man argue for a moment, then Jake's voice comes on, "Eli?" "Yeah...Hi." I say. He sighs, "Clare's...Clare's hurt...I mean...she got hurt. She's on some painkillers, so she's kinda out of it." He tells me. "What happened?" I ask shrilly. "She fell...down the stairs...she's in the hospital..." He explains. I rush out of the apartment and into my car, "Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

"I-I don't know. But, Eli, listen...she fell on-on her stomach. She **landed **on her stomach." I freeze, "S-S l-l-landed...b-but...the baby's in there." I whisper. "He's still..he's alive...he's alive...but he's maybe...not okay..."

"Tell Clare I'm coming. I'll be there." I muster and drive fast to the hospital where the nurse direct me to Clare's room. I push past Jake, Helen, Glen and Randall and go to Clare, grabbing her hand,"How are you feeling?" I ask. She smiles, "Eli! I'm so happy to see you...the food here is awful..."

I don't return the smile. Her's fades, "What's wrong?" She asks, innocently. "You're hurt. The baby could be hurt..." I whisper. She shakes her head, "I'm fine...and the baby's alive, too. And your fine and Jake's fine and Sav's fine and Peter's fine and Spinner's fine and Darcy's fine and my mom's fine and..." She goes on naming all these people I don't know.

"Clare, okay, everyone's fine..." I whisper. I look at all the tubes in her. There's an IV in her hand, a pulse taker on her finger and other things, "What are you on? What medications are they giving you?" She smiles, "Amazing things! I don't know! Magical fairy juice!" I groan and leave the room. "Eli?" She calls. I ignore her and sulk down the wall.

"Eli..." Jake whispers, "She's gonna be alright...She's only here to check on the baby. She broke an arm...that's it." He assures, "The last time someone I loved was in they died." I growled. Jake sighed, "She's stab-" "She's on drugs! I mean, she's all hyped up! Have you seen her?!" I demand. "She's getting out today." Jake tells me.

"Yeah...okay..." I mutter, raising my head to look into Clare's room. She's talking to a nurse. "She's so doped up..." I mutter, "Now would be a good time to propose; she'd defiantly say yes." I joke. Jake laughed, "Yeah. I guess it would be." We sit for a little bit, "We're on 'a break'." I admit.

"Why?" I shrug, "I needed one. I didn't realize all this would happen if we took one." Jake sighs, "Well, you'll...you're back now, right? I mean, you're taking her back or she's taking you back or whatever, right?" I shrug,  
"She hates me...she told me so." "She's all doped up...she doesn't mean anything." He said.

"Yeah, only she said it before that." I whisper, "I-I think I'll go home. She wouldn't want me here if she were okay." I stood up and rubbed my eyes, "Clare?" I called walking into her room, "I-I'm gonna go home...okay? If you want me to come pick you up when you get discharged, I will, or you can have someone else..." I say. She makes a pouting face, "Don't leave, Eli. I want you here. Stay here..." She said took my hand and pulled me close to her.

"I'm sorry...for leaving. Before, I mean... I love, you Clare. More then I'll ever be able to express. When Jake said you fell, I got really scared." She pushed her lips up against mine, "But I'm okay! And I can come home tonight and we make make love all over th-" I slam my palm against her mouth, silencing her. I hesitantly turn around to see Helen and Randall staring at us with disapproving faces.

"Clare...let's not talk about our personal life here, okay?" She giggles, "Okay, Elijah. Let's talk about Edward." I raise my eyebrows, "Edward?" "Yes, silly, our baby! His name's gonna be Edward. You know, from Twilight?" I drop my head in my hands, hearing Glen and Jake snickering, "No, no, no...his name will not be 'Edward' or Jacob. He'll be something manly." Clare rolls her eyes, "Fine, fine. Come on the bed with me."

I climb on and lay down next to her wrapping my arms around her stomach. She lays her head against my chest, "I love you, Elijah. And we both love you, Edward." Jake and Glen laugh again.


End file.
